Poorly controlled diabetes can be devastating on the sex lives of men

Last week I looked at the effects of diabetes on the sex lives of men. We spoke of the effects of poorly controlled diabetes in causing impotence, premature, delayed and retrograde ejaculation. I also looked at the effects of loss of libido and chronic balanitis on the sex lives of male diabetics. Men also suffer from episodes of recurrent urinary tract infections and prostatitis.{{more}} This is especially so if their sugars are poorly controlled. With poor control of diabetes, the sugar leaks into the urine from the blood. Sugar in the urine causes bacteria to grow; this in turn leads to an increased incidence of kidney, bladder and prostate infections. Urinary infections lead to painful sexual intercourse. Men with prostatitis will report pain on ejaculation and “coming quickly”, if they can “get it up”.

As you would expect, the effects of poorly controlled diabetes can be devastating on the sex lives of men. Imagine a man who suffers from any of the above; after a few sessions of attempted loving making with poor results, then he starts to avoid lovemaking. There is usually an excuse like tiredness, overwork or feeling sick. This lack of performance is also covered up by an increase in drinking, or taking up new hobbies or an increased interest in out of the home activities like gardening, going to church, going out with the “boys”. This acts as a diversion so that he can “take his mind off sex”, or come home late when the wife is already sleeping, thus avoiding sex. This can go on for months, until the wife demands that he goes to see his doctor. I even heard of a couple who did not consummate the marriage for months after the wedding, because the man was suffering from diabetes and hid it from the wife!

These men need supportive, not dismissive wives and partners. At the slightest hint of criticism, men will withdraw into themselves because their fragile egos are bruised. If they subsequently seek help, it will be for the “girlfriend”, not for the wife or long-term partner. That’s the nature of men and their egos.

Women, however, are a little different. Apart from the young women with type 1 (insulin dependent) diabetes, women generally accept their sexual dysfunction better than men. They generally consider the sexual dysfunction a part of ageing, not diabetes, and while men are worried and are drinking vitamins and other herbal supplements, women are dealing with the diabetes itself. This is because most women develop diabetes around the time of menopause and they correctly associate the loss of libido to menopause, not diabetes. This is because diabetic sexual problems usually occur many years after the onset of diabetes.

Women’s main problem with diabetes and sex is a condition called chronic vulvitis. When sugar is poorly controlled, the opening to the vagina usually develops a chronic yeast infection called a vulvitis, similar to the infection in the male foreskin. The cause is the same, i.e. sugary urine dripping and collecting on the female “foreskin”. As you can imagine, having sex with a swollen, red vulva will be painful. Women also develop recurrent and chronic vaginal candidiasis. Again, as you will expect, sex with vaginal candidiasis will also be painful, not to mention messy, as most women who have had vaginal yeast will attest. Women, like men, will also develop increased incidences of urinary tract infections, especially of the bladder. This will lead to painful sexual intercourse and hence avoidance of sex, not to mention the bladder dysfunction which can occur with diabetes.

Next week we tackle more urological issues. Relating to men, their prostates and sex lives.

For comments or question contact:
Dr Rohan Deshong
Tel: (784) 456-2785
email:deshong@vincysurf.com