Religion is ‘one of the biggest obstacles’ in the fight against domestic violence – Miller

A practising psychologist has identified religion as being “one of the biggest obstacles” in the fight against domestic violence in St Vincent and the Grenadines (SVG).

Head of the Psychology Department at the Milton Cato Memorial Hospital (MCMH), Dr Joezelle Miller made this declaration while addressing participants at a domestic violence workshop at the Community Centre at Sans Souci on Thursday, June 9.

The participants were mostly female farmers from rural communities such as Lauders, Greiggs, Park Hill, Chapmans and New Grounds.

Dr Miller noted that while many women are willing to leave abusive relationships, they find that religion becomes a stumbling block in their dash for freedom.

According to Dr Miller, many religious leaders urge women in abusive relations to go back home to meet their abusive spouse.

She noted that pastors often tell victims of domestic abuse to, “go home and make up.”

The psychologist said even if the spouse is beating the victim “to death,” religious leaders often encourage them to go home and “pray about it.”

Sometimes, going back home could result in further injury or death of the abused person, the doctor said as she noted that in this society women are very religious and hold their pastors or church leaders in high esteem.

And, many churches frown on divorce so they often encourage reconciliation.

However, it was pointed out that many victims of spousal abuse say that going back could be a deadly mistake.

A domestic violence survivor, who was not connected to the workshop told SEARCHLIGHT that her abuse started with a slap.

She said it later escalated to “blows all over my body” whenever there was an argument.

She eventually mustered the courage to leave her abusive spouse.

“When I left, people looked down on me, even the church; they told me I was wrong.

“So what did I do, I went back home and a few months later, he tried to kill me,” she related.

The woman miraculously escaped the attack which had been made on her life and issued a warning to women to “never go back to abusive spouses.”

Dr Miller however noted that “leaving is a process,” and while some women are lucky in their dash for freedom, some are not.

She said women who want to leave abusive relationships should “start planning, start saving”

and start emotionally separating themselves from the abuser.

The psychologist added that some women are afraid to leave abusive relationships because they are “afraid of the unknown.”

The participants in Thursday’s workshop, were also taught how to identify certain red flags in their relationships.

Women were told to be on the lookout “from the time he raises his voice.”

Usually, physical abusers raise their voice first, then they raise their hands or their feet, or use a weapon, they were told.

The workshop was organized by Women in Agriculture for Rural Development (WARD), with funding from the Embassy of the Netherlands Antilles.