I donât claim to be an expert in love and relationships (faaar from), but in light of a discussion I had the other day with a few of my younger friends on love and heartbreak, I felt the need to share something I wrote a looong time ago.{{more}} This was inspired by two friends who were going through relationship issues at the time. Iâm sharing it because we all have relationship issues, whether weâre young and dating or older and married. Now, my view might be a bit too optimistic for most of you, but please feel free to email me your take on the issue.
Loveâ¦
Sometimes it leaves us bitter and regretful and sometimes we wonât change it for the world.
Itâs what you do after the hurt that makes or breaks you.
Weâre human, and it hurts like hell, but why should you have to pay for the person who hurt the person that hurt you?
You can be bitter and moan and complain, but life is dawning while youâre still stuck in mental yesterday.
You can retract into âsafe modeâ and love with your mind instead of your heart, but then your relationship is doomed anyway, cause youâre not going to make much of an effort and the person youâre with is gonna leave you, youâre gonna hurt them when they give you their heart and you withhold yours and theyâre gonna leave you, theyâre gonna love you but youâre going to keep them at armâs length and eventually theyâre gonna leave. âTheyâ could have been a part of one of the most beautiful and edifying unions in your life, if you had given it a chance.
No, Iâm not telling you to run to just anybody, open your arms and offer them your soul or walk blindly into bovine excrement, but donât let that personâs three minutes of infidelity or 10 years of dishonesty change who you are, unless itâs a positive change. Youâve already wasted much time in the relationship. Donât lose your vivaciousness, sanity or another second of your life on regret or revenge. Donât give them that power over youâ¦it has happened, life is cyclical and theyâll get theirs. Take your time, not too much; get back on your feetâ¦life goes on and at the end of the day you walk away proud, you get to keep your respect and demand theirs.
Most people donât seem to realize how much more strength it takes to forgive and move on. Life doesnât have to be difficult, even in the hardest times, though when you adopt the simple, less stressful approach and try to be open, people tend to think youâre soft and easy, mistakenly underestimating you. People! Donât think that because a person loves you and is willing to compromise certain things to improve your relationship, theyâre weak. Donât think that because a person doesnât argue with you and accepts your weak explanations theyâre not smart, and DONâT think that because someone can look you in the eyes and say: âI forgive you for messing upâ that theyâre stupid. You see⦠itâs quite the opposite, they say God is love so I guess love is God. God is an almighty, superior, spiritual being, love is an almighty, superior, spiritual emotion coupled with sexual magnetism, anything short of that is a bootleg (In my opinion). Love is about sharing, so they are willing to compromise and they expect you to compromise also. Just because they donât argue doesnât mean they are not mad. They accept your weak explanations. That doesnât mean theyâre not cross examining your every word in their mind, but youâre supposed to love them; they donât expect you to lie. Love is also about forgiveness. Who are you if you canât forgive? Arenât you yourself worthy of forgiveness?
On a side note, Guys! Do you know how utterly refreshing and attractive it is to find a guy who would give you no time of the day because he is totally smitten by his woman? And, ladies, if he didnât work too hard to get it, he probably would not know how to appreciate it, and if he did put in some work, itâs because youâre worthy.
That real love, the ones our grandparents, had is slowly becoming a thing of the past. We donât love and trust like we used to, for good reason, everybody is into the games these days. Pull yourselves together people!