Is charisma something we are born with or is it learned behavior?

Conclusion:
A few weeks ago we began discussing charisma and whether it was something that people were born with, magic, or a skill that can be learned and practised. We affirmed that it is the ability to draw attention and admiration from people and to influence them. That, charismatic people are often viewed as mysterious and, while many people argue that charisma is an innate ability, charisma expert Olivia Fox Cabane argues that it is a skill that can be learned and developed.

According to Cabane, “extensive research in recent years has shown charisma is the result of specific non-verbal behaviours.” Fox Cabane said that charisma can be broken down into three core elements, i.e. presence, power and warmth. She said that people pick up on messages we often don’t even realize we are sending through small changes in our body language. Today, we conclude our three-week conversation by exploring tips proposed by Cabane on how to overcome obstacles to charisma.

If you are a leader or an aspiring leader, or someone who values how you are perceived by others, wants to be easily liked and trusted and have superior influence, you need charisma. Multiple studies have revealed that in every sector of society – be it in religion, politics, business, social groups or families, followers of charismatic leaders achieve more, are more engaged and are more trusting of their leaders than followers of non-charismatic leaders.

In a Harvard Business Review article by Antonakis et. al titled Learning Charisma (hbr.org), the authors argued that although multiple studies have confirmed that charisma plays a vital role in the work context; generally, it is not being used. They proposed that it is either because leaders do not know how to apply charisma to business or do not think charisma could be easily learned. The authors, referred to certain skills in communication and personality characteristics as charismatic leadership traits (CLTs). They believe if mastered, leaders with those characteristics will be in an advantageous position of influence.

The ability to connect, compare and contrast when delivering a message is a skill that sets charismatic people apart from others. Martin Luther King Jr. demonstrated this in his “I have a dream” speech. Antonakis et. al said “he likened the U.S. Constitution to “a promissory note” guaranteeing the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness to all people but noted that America had instead given its black citizens “a bad check,” one that had come back marked “insufficient funds.” Everyone knows what it means to receive a bad check. The message is crystal clear and easy to retain.” The ability to engage and distil and to show integrity, authority and passion are among other traits mentioned.

In our last conversation, Cabane highlighted some factors that hinder people’s ability to project presence, power and warmth charisma. She mentioned that even the clothes that people wear can impede charisma if they are inappropriate for the weather or temperature of the room. Obstacles to charisma could be external and internal. Internal obstacles can include anxieties, dissatisfaction caused by comparison, self-criticism, and self-doubt.

Olivia Fox Cabane proposes that charisma obstacles can be overcome :

Step one: De-stigmatize discomfort. People can reduce the power of discomfort by understanding that it is natural and does not warrant anxiety. She suggested that the next time you experience mental discomfort (i) remember that it comes with being human and happens every day. (ii) Consider people who experience the same feelings daily, especially those you may know. (iii) See it as a common occurrence.

The very moment you are experiencing it, a community of people are also having the same experience.

Step two: Neutralize negativity. Not because you think it, means that it is a fact.

She suggested that your thoughts be viewed as drawings on a wall. Depersonalize them, name them, imagine that you are a spectator to them and consider what is the worst thing that can happen in the situation you are thinking of.

Step three: Rewrite reality. This is a method that is used to help persons deal with distressing situations that can hinder warmth and presence charisma. Cabane suggested that you should write a letter to the person who have wronged you expressing everything you wish to say to them. Then, take a clean sheet of paper and write to yourself, exactly how you would want the person to respond. This is a coping mechanism that works.

Charisma can be used for good as well as for harm. There are many people with devious intent who use charisma to charm their way into people’s lives to exploit them for personal and professional gain. Someone had this to say, “Charisma may bring you to the top but, character will maintain you on the top.”

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