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February 21, 2014

Why I went to see a Shrink

I was on the Shrink’s couch with my complaint about serious depression. It was only a week ago that I was voted out of office, but the journey back to living an ordinary life was too much to take. The Shrink tried to get me talking, and at first I could do little more than express my dissatisfaction with my people whom I considered ungrateful, given all that I had done for them. The Shrink tried to get me to recount what I had done.{{more}} I resisted, but I believe he put me in some sort of trance or even worked obeah on me for I began to spill the beans and to let out my innermost secrets. I began to saythings I never thought I would tell anyone.
 
I started babbling uncontrollably. Well, this job of Prime Minister was a taxing one. I really needed compensation for all I had been doing for my country. It all started when I figured I had to reward all those who were loyal to me, all those who brought news and displayed their loyalty in many ways. One day, one of my ministers brought me a bag with $500,000. I asked him where it came from. He said calmly, you know that gentleman from Saudi Arabia to whom we sold the land and gave concessions to set up the snow factory. He paid me a million over what he was supposed to pay. But that is illegal. No, not with him. He told me that is the way he does business. The truth, PM, is that I couldn’t decide who to give that concession to and this sealed the matter. Well, since this has already been done let it be, but as soon as you leave I will have to pray for forgiveness. After all, I am a man of God!

I accepted this, but I realized that I could give part of that money to some of my supporters. I can’t provide jobs for all of them, but they will remain loyal once they see the sacrifice I was making for them. But the money didn’t go very far. There were so many supporters to make happy and then one thing led to another. I had to remind myself that I made a vow to serve my people, but I am also part of my people, so the way I saw it was that I also had to satisfy myself. But many other things happened.

This job of governing is really a tough one. We went in with all sorts of grandiose ideas and big talk, but it ain’t easy. People were calling on me all day for all sorts of things. Very often I could not sleep and I believe it is this tiredness that set me on the wrong path. There were things to do and the temptation was great. I prayed to God to guide me. After all, I was his man. I am sure that my re-election was proof of his approval, although there were a few irregularities. These would not have affected the outcome, despite what those nasty, wicked losers were telling their people.

I took comfort in my belief that whatever I did was for my people. But who are my people? Obviously, the ones who voted for me. I used to think that when I was elected I was to serve everyone, but that could never be. On one hand, there were those writing in the newspapers and phoning in to the radio stations, questioning everything I did. I decided to increase the taxes on those telephone companies, since they are making lots of money from all those jokers calling in every minute saying bad things about me. I buy a car, they complain. I was Prime Minister of a country that was poor, but that is no reason to wallow in mud. I had to uplift my people and set an example for them, letting them know that if I can do it, so can they.

But should I not grant favours to all those who were keeping me updated on what was happening in the country, telling me about those who were bad talking and double crossing me? Obviously, with all my work, I couldn’t get around, so those telephone calls, What’s Apps messages, texts and so on were important. When I attended any function to give a talk, my loyal followers were always in attendance. I sometimes had to smile, because they made sure that I saw them. Such loyalty! I know some of them, especially those who were public servants did little work, but loyalty must be rewarded. Some of them, I now know, disowned me even before the cock crowed once.

But although some of them don’t think so, everything I did was for them. And is this how they have rewarded me? It is true that my position allowed me access to some of the better things in life, and admittedly, I really lived it up; but I was preparing the way for them. My objective was to build a bigger cake, but somehow it wouldn’t grow as fast as I wanted it to.

Then I paused to get a reaction from the Shrink. Woow! Would you believe it?

I was not on a couch, but on my own bed, staring into the ceiling. This thing is serious; two dreams about having been Prime Minister. This last one was dreadful because it left me terribly depressed. Then I knew that I had to see a real Shrink. It is for that reason that I went to see the Shrink.

Dr Adrian Fraser is a social commentator and historian.

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