Listening, an act of Love

“BEFORE AH EVEN say anything, e start to pass off e mouth. E na wait fo hear me out……o gurrrr.”

Deep listening is transformative. In a sense, it is the cornerstone of healthy relationships.When someone listens to you without judgment, they create a sanctuary. In today’s world the demand that we should change, improve, perform, is drilled into our heads. So, when a listener resists the urge to take responsibility for your emotions, they grant you the dignity of your own experience.They acknowledge that you are capable and that your feelings are valid.

When someone listens without an agenda, they act as a clean mirror.

In this mirror, you see yourself clearly. By accepting the speaker, the listener teaches the speaker how to accept himself or herself. This is the root of personal growth: we cannot move away from what we are until we accept what we are.

When someone truly hears us, our nervous systems regulate and social engagement takes over.

Listening can heal.Trauma and grief are often characterized by a sense of being trapped within one’s own mind. By speaking and being heard, the internal chaos is organized into a narrative.

The listener’s presence is the medicine. In an age of digital distraction, giving someone your undivided, non-judgmental attention is one of the rarest and most valuable gifts you can offer.

Listening is the gift of presence.

When we stop trying to analyse, categorize, or redirect the person speaking, we allow them the space to breathe. In that breath, they find the strength to heal, the clarity to grow and the warmth of a new connection reminds them that they are worthy of being known.

Listening is a skill and it is increasingly being appreciated in professional environments. It can build friendships, relationships, families, workplaces. Listening is also an act of love.

Maralyn Ballantyne LL.B. Hons.