Teachers – guilty as charged

EDITOR: Teachers, civil servants, and policemen are due to appear in court to face a number of charges after a long and poverty-stricken wait. Knowing that it was said that “no matter what court you go to you must come back to Papa,” I have taken this case into my own hands as a pre-eminent “goatskin lawyer,” and will attempt to dispose of the case. We will try to establish the facts. The teachers would be tried first as it would be a precedent for all the other workers.

You will admit that you were locked out of your workplace. I have not seen a more dedicated set of workers in all my experience. To bear insults with such grace is indeed admirable.

Willingness to work is a quality admired by all employers. I have also observed that you usually arrive early and work late without arguing for overtime pay. How do you plea to this charge?

Guilty!

You have a work ethic that needs to be taught to all students who need to learn that efforts are required for rewards. You seem to want students to succeed more than students want success for themselves. To this end you spend your own monies to buy extra books, teaching aids, plan field trips, guide students over and beyond what is normally expected. How do you plea? Guilty!

You worked through the most dangerous Covid-19 times and when barred from school, continued to make yourself available to students to help them to succeed.

You managed the volcano eruption campers in the schools without any outbreaks.

You were forced to stay away from your students this year and cried long water tears with the poor examination results this year. How do you plea? Guilty!

When asked to subject yourself as a guinea pig to the vaccine authorized for emergency use you declined. Yet you were prepared to wear your mask, use preventive medicine, social distance, sanitize, ventilate, quarantine, test, and isolate when necessary. You pointed out that the same protocol must be observed by everyone without exception as the vaccinated as well as the unvaccinated can contract and spread the virus. You tendered as corroborating evidence the Dunce Box and unvaccinated spittle of our parliament. You value the freedom of conscience and follow the science closely. You understand the claim that the vaccine can prevent hospitalization and death. How do you plea? Guilty!

Since you have given the court no trouble in establishing the evidence and are willing to return to work, you are hereby sentenced to return to the classroom forthwith and with full compensation of all your lost wages, and benefits, and pension. This court stands adjourned!

Anthony G. Stewart, PhD