Domestic violence and abuse – a serious concern in SVG

EDITOR: Please, if you will, permit me to discuss with you what I consider to be some of the main root causes of domestic violence and abuse and supposedly its origin.

I will however set out as a backdrop as to what I am about to say to refer to the Bible as reference, to illustrate my point of views on this subject matter, as it relates to domestic violence and abuses.

Now our constitution states “we” believe in the supremacy of God, and in the dignity of man, we also take great comfort and proud ourselves as a Christian nation. That is all good. Nonetheless, I am very concerned in the context in which the Bible teaches on the question as it somehow relates to discipline and how it has been understood to mean and applied in our circumstances.

Here in SVG, domestic violence and abuse are of serious concern to all and a housekeeping and positive approach is needed to dig deep, very deep below the surface, to find tangible and adequate solutions as it relates to this subject matter.

Here, also in SVG, flogging and other forms of corporal punishment of our children are on our law books, it is widely accepted in what is considered to be a form of discipline, in our society Christianity teaches us not to “spare the proverbial rod spoil the child”. Sadly though, most people take this to mean that whenever a child or children misbehave or step out of line they should be flogged, and it truly bothers me when it is seen as an act of love and care and concern as what is best for that child. What makes it even worst; the Bible endorses this practice as an act of love as illustrated every year, each time at what is known as Easter. I have always questioned as to why the great, most high God would take such a drastic, inhumane, cruel approach to express his love, care and concern for all human kind of which He, God himself, has created.

I am still searching for answers. Just thinking aloud.

Do you know that in so-called first world countries that form of discipline is strictly forbidden and it is also unconstitutional for a parent or anyone to flog a child? It is seen as child abuse, oh yes, and anyone found guilty is prosecuted by law. Here in the Caribbean, it is a way of life for us, rather normal for us to beat up on our children in the name of love, care and concern. Our children are raised and are cultured to believe and accept the flogging of them by their parents and others as a true act of love, and that mindset grows with them, and when they too become parents – they too do the same thing to their children and the cycle continues.

I am most certain if you were to ask most parents why they flog their children, they will say to you that the Bible, the word of God says it is okay to flog, thus creating this evil and wicked monster known as domestic violence and abuse – all in the name of love. Why do I have to experience love through pain and anger by my very own parents who claim I was punished because of love? Seriously? Children can only learn what have been thought to them and what is allowed will surely continue, We FM radio morning show “Solutions” often state, “Monkey see, monkey do”, so simple, but yet so profound.

Notwithstanding, there must be some serious and very deep thinking on a personal and national level of discussion of the issue of domestic violence and abuse among our people in all of its forms, and to have common ground to critically address this matter.

This to my mind is very fundamental and imperative to have a national approach, the question of domestic violence is not a political one, so it will be very unwise to find any political solutions. I see this as a social and domestic issue of a spiritual nature. So it is also imperative that we find other effective ways to discipline our children, because, to my mind, the kinds and forms of discipline we have embraced and become accustomed to is very cruel and inhumane to say the least, and very outdated, as I stated before; first world nations do not see discipline the same way we see it, why is this so? And they do not have the high level of domestic violence as us in the Caribbean.

How can we reasonably expect to do the same thing the same way every time and have a different result? That will be very ludicrous to say the least.

And finally, I am strongly of the view that we need to inculcate a new mindset in our people and to help them develop a new approach, what is known as PMA, that is a Positive Mental Attitude… we need to think.

The sad reality for me though, is that the notion of not sparing the rod and spoiling the child has been misunderstood and misrepresented. It is however my honest opinion that this learned behaviour and practice is somehow directly related to some of the main root causes of domestic violence and abuse in all its shapes and forms.

Cleave Francis