Keys to establishing a healthy marriage

Editor: Getting married to the right person and for the right reasons does not guarantee automatic smooth sailing. Instead, since none of us are perfect, we have to keep working at the relationship to make it healthy and working.{{more}}

Importantly, Christ must become the head of any relationship and by extension, the home. By him, being the head it will help in times when the seas get rough and the relationship seems to be sinking. In these days and times, living without Christ is an awful risk.

COMMUNICATION forms an integral part of any healthy relationship. When communicating, there must be compliments given when needed and also criticism when it is called for. Far too often we have heard spouses complain that they cannot please their partner, for nothing they do seems to attract a compliment or satisfaction. Instead, there are barrages of criticism. In communication, listening is very important. How often do spouses sit and listen to each other’s issues and feelings. Seldom have we seemed to adopt the attitude of listening; instead we seem to know it all. So, rather than discussing and listening, we tend to talk our minds and let them have it.

Sometimes, some partners are argumentative and so communication then becomes a major issue. Both partners always try to prove that they are right. So rather than submitting, they argue constantly. This can lead to conflicts and sometimes domestic violence. It is often said that a man should never try to argue with a woman, for a woman seldom feels she is wrong. Instead, they always feel that they are right.

COMPROMISE is another important ingredient in any healthy relationship. For compromise to be effective, both partners must be humble enough to sometimes give up their rights of thinking or views for peace. Sometimes, a decision is hard to make, since both partners want it to be done their way. In this case, the man, who is the leader, ought to be willing to make a compromise. Either let it go and let the wife have it, or take another view. They can find another solution where it is not a case of the wife or husband claiming rights.

More can be said, but it is of importance that for a marriage to be successful, both partners must be committed. Far too often people get married with the idea that if it works, it works. Many seem to forget the vows that said that until death do us part. There must be willingness by both partners to stick together and work through their problems. When there is a lack of commitment on both partners it can spell disaster. For, as the old people normally say, “one hand cah clap.” So, if one partner is committed to the relationship and to make it work and the other is not, then there is where a problem can and will occur.

Sometimes it is petty things that cause break-ups. Sometimes you wonder where the commitment is. We are reminded in Genesis 2:24 for this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife and they shall become one flesh. There ought to be a total commitment to any relationship.

Kennard King