Vincentians, we have a cultural cancer: sexual predators

Editor: By, now anyone who has read my articles know that I am not afraid nor am I embarrassed to “touch the third rail.” I dare to speak about the issues that make hypocrites cringe. I love to reach under the bed and in the corners where “the dirt” is hidden and sweep it out into the sunlight, So, if you are the typical ostrich who loves to bury your head in the sand, with your anus high up in the air, keep it moving, because you will be offended.{{more}} Be forewarned that I make no apology for offending hypocrites.

Now that is out of the way, Vincentians, I want to ask, which one of you is honestly unaware that the country is infested with sexual predators that ABUSE little girls, especially? This is not the time to argue that I am “pulling down the country.” I have not sexually abused anyone, so I am not responsible for what is going on. I am acting as your conscience in speaking to you, so that you can drop the “let us pretend game and DO something to stop it.”

No, St Vincent is NOT the only country where this cultural sickness is destroying individuals. This cancer is RAMPANT throughout the Caribbean. All of us KNOW that. This is not a matter of “belief,” as in something you cannot see and have not seen. This is something that the vast majority of you know. But, you gossip about it and actively contribute to the destruction of the lives of the victims.

This cancer has caused every last one of you to be culturally INSENSITIVE. If you just look at the behaviour of many individuals on Facebook, this is conspicuously demonstrated. There are seldom any polite conversations. Somehow or somewhere every conversation is permeated with sexual overtones. “Haul your mother C-word” has become the hallmark for conversations or its “your mother’s stinking C-word.” The vileness is appalling and to see these pretensive so-called Christians some with “Evangelist” as prefixes to their names, engaging in these exchanges in the name of politics, just makes my stomach absolutely sick.

No one seems to have the good sense to realize the level of destructive and everlasting damage that this cultural cancer is doing to all of us. Yes, all of us! Whether you have been “touched” or not, you are a victim of this collective trauma. Simply hearing about it creates this subconscious reaction within you. I doubt that there is ONE single Vincentian marriage that is healthy. You maybe good at “keeping up appearances” and pretending to those on the outside that your relationship is great, but I am here to call you out on that lie.

It is impossible for any relationship, whether it is a mere friendship or a marriage to be functionally healthy or intact without TRUST and Vincentians, I am willing to wager that there is not a single relationship among you where trust is not a daily challenge. When an individual has been violated by someone who is supposed to be a Keeper of Trust (someone who should protect the vulnerable), that individual’s trust is then destroyed.

It is not easy to build trust after it has been violated. It’s the easiest entity to lose and the hardest to gain. Therefore, the struggle with broken relationships is destructive to the absolute CORE of these relationships. Once trust is gone, it is gone almost forever, unless individuals become honest. Honesty is another challenge for Vincentians who love to “cover up their own mistakes.” Many are incapable of facing reality, so they pretend and continuously practise hypocrisy. So, the majority of Vincentian relationships, to include marriages, are non-existent in a true sense.

The husband and wife may live under the same roof, and they will die in that marital prison rather than courageously putting an end to the sham, because of the cultural hypocrisy that “honours” marriage. How can something that is broken be honourable? What Vincentian married man has not had sexual relationships and often children by other women? Which one? I want to meet him. We have a cultural sexist cancer that permits men to be sexual predators and sadly, we encourage it. How? We make sex into a masterfully rewarding achievement for men, while at the same time we make sex a badge of shame and disgrace for women.

It’s shameful if a man can’t get “wife.” Wife is the colloquial term for sex. We glorify and memorialize men’s great love for sex. When you hear “ah love me wife bad,” know that wife in this instance refers to “sex.” The primitiveness within the culture encourages sexual violence when a man is insulted by another one who tells him “you don’t get wife.” This may send the man who is said to “don’t get wife” to rape, so that he gets “wife.”

Vincentians, men and women are indeed victims of this cultural cancer. It encourages men to be rapists and sex offenders because their self-esteem enlarges from getting “wife.” It does not matter how they get it. Getting wife is like the equivalent of having a million bucks. While it boosts the males’ egos and encourages them to become sexual predators, it kills the souls of women by shaming and disgracing them. This practice is twisted, where the criminal experiences “hero worship” and the victim is treated like an outcast.

It’s time for everyone of us to stop this destructive madness. A woman’s vagina should be treated as a sacred place, because it is the cradle of life and the catalyst to life. To curse someone’s mother in such a vile way is the ultimate form of disrespect and vileness. It is equally repulsive when individuals who ought to be pillars of reinforcements within the society encourage and support the behaviour, especially because they want to gain political advantage.

There is no greater destruction to St Vincent and the Grenadines today than this cultural cancer. It’s time for us to stop praising men and shaming women. It is time for us to treat sexual predators and sexual offenders as criminals and outcasts. The norms within the society are twisted and it’s high time that they are rearranged. Homosexuals are not raping and having babies with little girls. Vincentian heterosexuals who “love their wife bad” are breaking the law to satisfy their passion, and that must STOP!

Helena R Edwards