Where is the decency in men?

Fri Jun 27, 2014

Editor: I would like to ask Mr Kennard King a question, following his letter to this paper last week: “Where is the decency in men?”

Mr King expressed his dislike of the clothes that some women and girls choose to wear during the Carnival period and at other times as well. He states that the exposure of women’s bodies is “not decent” and “an appeal to the flesh.” He then seems to blame women’s choice of clothing for social ills such as “HIV/Aids and rape.”{{more}}

Mr King is entitled to his opinions about whether women’s clothes are tasteful to him or not, but I am horrified by his implication that what girls and women choose to wear might make them responsible for a crime such as rape. Asking “where is the decency in women?” in relation to violations such as rape or sexual assault is a disgusting refusal to accept the real problem: no man ever has the right to force himself onto an unwilling partner, regardless of how she is dressed. Victims of rape are never responsible for it.

In response to his statement that we need “godly women and mothers with standards and morality,” I ask Mr King this: what about godly men, who can control their own sexual urges and would not dream of forcing themselves on another person? What about fathers with standards and morality, teaching their sons and daughters about respect, responsibility and consent, and showing their children what this means in their daily lives, leading by example?

The reference to HIV/Aids in Mr King’s letter ignores the fact that the use of condoms, which help to prevent against the spread of the disease, is the responsibility of both people engaging in sexual relations – it cannot simply be women’s “fault” if HIV is on the increase in SVG.

Mr King implores readers to “save this nation” by “establishing good moral standards”. To do this, I suggest that we stop blaming victims and teach all our young men and women that sex should only ever take place with consent. After all, let us instil in all our young people the correct and upright way of showing respect and taking responsibility for our own actions. Thank you.

Concerned Citizen