Men are afraid to admit that they need help

Despite the recent killing of a 21-year-old woman during an apparent domestic quarrel, government officials believe that the message of domestic abuse is slowly reaching its target, and call for men to take up their positions in the home if this country is to regain control of society.{{more}}

At a press conference held on Monday by the Ministry of National Mobilization, Social Development and Local Government, Coordinator of Gender Affairs Polly Oliver stated that more men are coming forward and seeking guidance when it comes to domestic matters, by attending fathering and male underachievers’ workshops.

“From the Division’s experience, we are seeing that they are now getting the message and are now moving towards seeking redress to ask ‘What is there for us?’”

“There is always a category that wants to be bad, but they just need to realize that they need help. Men are just afraid to come to grips and admit that they need help.”

One reason for this, according to Permanent Secretary (ag) in the Ministry Rosita Snagg is that society has forced men to believe that they have to be tough and aggressive to be respected and taken seriously.

“The boy child has grown up to believe that he is a macho person and any sign of weakness is not good, and so a boy child has never learned emotion, never learned to cry.”

Snagg said that boys need to be shown the same affection as girls, by both mothers and fathers.

“Boys have feelings as well as girls and we ought to treat our boys the same way we treat our girls so that we don’t have this big disparity. Once we start doing that all the time we will pull it back.”

The Permanent Secretary (ag) called on men to come on board and take up their roles in the household; by building family values, a decrease in domestic and child abuse could be realized.

“If we have strong families and our boy children are in the home, and you have fathers and mothers there for them, the tendency for them to go the straight way is much easier than when you don’t have a father there.”

Earlier in the press conference, Minister Mike Browne called for families to take time out and have family meetings, where members can discuss issues affecting the home.

Browne believes that these sessions can help in diffusing matters that may become unstable if left unaddressed.

Admitting that the change desired is not an overnight process, Oliver said that they can be achieved through attending counseling and workshops.

“I can tell you that from our (the ministry’s) perspective that what we have been doing is to get men to understand that they do not have to use aggressive behavior towards women as an answer to their problems.”