I left my guy to become a ‘side chick’ – what should I do now?

Hey Rosie,

I am a 17 year old and have been living overseas for two years now. First I want to say who you love don’t always love you back but who really loves you, you don’t love them. I am in love with this guy, he is so handsome. The first time I met him is on Facebook I never thought he would be so sweet face-to-face. I gave him my number and he called me but he told me he is living with his baby mother and I say OK. He came to see me where I was living and I never thought I would love someone so much, but the point he is living with his baby mother and she will always be there no matter what. He told me he loves me and loves her so I told him he can’t be in love with two beautiful young ladies. He told me yes it can work as long as she doesn’t find out. When we started to spend time together and much closer I told him I have a boyfriend but I am going to end things with my boyfriend, so he asked me how long I would take for doing that. I told him one day.

After I already tell my boyfriend I don’t love him any more I love someone else, he told me no that can’t be possible and I told him bye and I ended the phone call. When we are together now he always make me smile and laugh but sometimes when we are there together his babymother calls. I always feel sad inside but I don’t want to show outside. I gave up my boyfriend for this guy who already has a woman and now I think I am stupid and dumb to make a decision like that. I truly love him and I know he loves me but sometimes he doesn’t show it like my ex do but I can’t do this any more. I gotta let him go cause it’s really bad to take another woman’s man which he is living with and I am tired of thinking I am not his main woman and he not gonna be mine so if I love him I gotta let him go and if he comes back it’s meant to be mine, but if he doesn’t it never meant to be mine. I really need your help Rosie, I am so confused. Although I am young still you’re not too young to fall in love but you gotta fall in love with the right person.

Love at First Sight

Dear Love at First Sight,

I agree, you are not too young to fall in love. You are so young to be caught up in this type of drama and this is directly connected to your age. Love is a real and can sometimes be a volatile emotion. We can’t help who we love and who loves us back. However, knowing who is NOT for you is the most important lesson here.

Why at 17 would you want to be with a dude who has a Baby Mama? Really, why? Your lack of experience shows us the old saying about, “dropping the bone for the shadow”. You had your own boyfriend, someone who showed you respect and affection it seems. Then up shows Mr. Prettiness, he has a lot of game. He then tells you that he can love you and his baby mama at the same time (first mistake) once she doesn’t find out. Second mistake was you went along with this arrangement.

Look, do not put yourself in these positions going forward. Consider whoever that gets to know you on a personal level to be very privileged to do so. Let’s not start a horrible habit of being the “side chick”. I am very happy to hear that you have come around on your own to realize that this is no type of relationship for you. I guess you just wanted me to co-sign about your decision and I do 100%. Leave this guy and stop being caught up in his web of lies.

You know my drill, continue with your education, become a part of a healthy social circle. Go out with friends, experience all the wonderful things this life has to offer and think before you act. However, stop playing second fiddle, hold yourself to a much higher standard of behaviour and continue pushing forward to a brighter future.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines