I feel disrespected by my husband’s flirting

Hello Rosie,

Rosie,

My husband is a huge flirt. I’ve known this for years and he is harmless with it. The problem is that some women think he’s serious and would try to disrespect me by rubbing his arm or back right in front of me! Once one woman stepped right in between both of us with her back turned to me and flirted with him right in front of my face.

He thinks it is funny, but I feel it’s disrespectful. However, the other day a man came up to me in the supermarket and was chatting me up, my husband saw this and was upset! I told him, now you see how it feels? He said it’s not the same thing because men are dogs? What is this craziness, Rosie?

Disrespected

Dear Disrespected,

Sadly there tends to be a huge double standard in terms of what is acceptable behaviour for a man and a woman.

Your hubby seems to enjoy being the centre of attention, so when he flirts (harmless to him) with all these women, it’s not a big deal. However, the conversation must be had about how YOU feel in regards to his hurtful and dismissive behaviour.

You actually have the power to say, “enough”. In your case you saw that he wasn’t happy with a man showing you unsolicited attention, he became very territorial. Explain that it is the same deal with him and how much it upsets you.  

You can come to a middle ground with your husband where he can say, “hi” and keep it moving. No touching, no caressing, no giggling, etc. He needs to respect the boundaries you’ve both set and work on building a united front when confronted with unwanted attention.

Good luck and I know you can work through this hurdle.  

Rosie