I can’t forgive dad for cheating on mom

Hey Rosie,

My dad cheated on my mom a long time ago and I am just finding out. I’m so devastated! Rosie, this was well over 10 years ago, when we were in high school. mom handled her business and forgave him. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl, so to hear that he did this, I can’t forgive him. He doesn’t know that I found out, but he wants to know why I’ve been avoiding him. What should I do? I may say something that I shouldn’t. Help me! I am not ready to face him.

Mad

Dear Mad,

I can understand your anger and anxiety. The man whom you held in such high esteem has disappointed you in a huge way. The trick is, how do you move on?

Look, I know the shock of it all is still fresh, but you must also take into consideration that your mom has handled it and moved on. So much so that you had no idea that this fiasco happened 10 years ago. You are now an adult and even though he’s your father, you may have to respect your parents’ space/truce and bite your tongue. Truthfully, it is not your fight.

If it is eating you up, go and speak to a therapist about your feelings, because at the end of the day, your father sounds like he was a wonderful influence in your life. I hope this is something that you can get past in a timely fashion and realize that all families have secrets. It’s how we choose to deal with them that dictates our survival.  

Remember, forgiveness is the gift that you give yourself.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines.