I can’t stand my mother

Hey Rosie,

My mom is a very negative woman. When it comes to me, she never has a positive word. She has told my children that I’m her worse kid (even though I’m 42 years old); she even tries to bad talk me with my husband.  

Rosie, it’s so bad that sometimes I ignore her calls and I avoid her for weeks at a time.  Truthfully, when we don’t see her, things run much more smoothly. Is this wrong to feel this way? I can’t stand her.

So done

Dear So done,

I have to tell you, the mother/daughter relationship can sometimes be very difficult to work through. It would seem that this is sadly your case.

At 42 years old, one would hope that you would have come to a place where you would have had a better way of approaching and interacting with each other. I am also not happy to hear that this toxic behaviour is being transferred to your kids and husband as well. This is no good.  

Are you willing to go to therapy with her to work on your issues? It will not be easy, I can tell you that for sure.  In fact, you may find out that you both may have to have limited interaction, or none at all. But at least you would have some clear resolution about your relationship going forward.  

The ball is in your court. You will have to decide what your next move is. Remember your children are also absorbing all of this negative energy and this needs to stop. I wish you all the best with your next steps with your mom.

Rosie