My husband left me; says I’m too controlling, nag too much

Hey Rosie,

My husband just left me. Rosie, it was such a shock… he said he was tired of me! He said that I complained too much, nagged him and was too controlling. Again, I was shocked!

We have been together for five years and married for three years. I thought we were both working towards our goals as a couple, career wise and in our personal life. We even decided that we would wait a little longer to have kids because we were working towards our career goals. Now he’s telling me that I was pushing him too hard and never took the time to just be with him as a partner.

Rosie, I am so confused! I thought we were on the same page. Our families are also in disbelief and I really would like to save my marriage; he means more to me than money and status. How can I get him to talk to me? I’m so desperate and depressed.  

Lost

Dear Lost,

I am so sorry to hear about this unfortunate situation. Being told that it’s over by someone you care about can be very devastating.  But the trick is to take some time for yourself to figure out your next move.

Now, after doing this, you will have to take some ownership in the role you played here. It’s difficult for us to look internally at our shortcomings, but it’s very necessary. I would suggest that you try to extend an olive branch to your hubby in a non-threatening way. Explain to him that you would like to hear his side and you are very open to going to counselling and working on repairing your relationship.

Look, if he seems open, be neutral and take the baby steps that it will require to salvage your marriage. I’m also encouraged that he never mentioned another woman. That normally tends to be the case and can prove very difficult to overcome.

I truly wish you all the best, my friend.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, ingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines.