Hurt and confused

Hey Rosie,

I am a 22-year-old mother of one, who is working towards a bright future. I am in a relationship with a guy who lied about having a girlfriend and I’m stuck between staying and leaving.

My relationship with this guy began nine months ago, when I was employed at this organization where we both saw each other frequently. He is no stranger; I’ve known him for as long as I could remember and I’ve always known him as a good person, until we started dating.

Few months into the relationship, he took me home to his mom and I did the same as well. Everything went well until he started acting strange, and there were people coming to me telling me that he has his girlfriend. At first I didn’t believe, until I saw things for myself and he was wanting space.

Rosie, I am so hurt at the moment, because I don’t normally have myself caught up in situations like this. If only I knew he had someone, I would have never started anything with him.

We’re together for nine months now; we did a lot together in such a short time… this guy treats me well, everything that I have ever wanted in a guy, since after my last hurtful relationship with my child’s father. My family, especially my daughter and myself, got so attached to him, I don’t know what to do. I’ve asked him about it and he keeps telling me “we’ll talk”, but this never happens.

“The other girl”, who I know that he is with, isn’t always around because she is back and forth overseas.

I’m in love with this young man, but I don’t want to hurt myself in the near future. Should I stay and see what happens, or should I leave?

Hurt

Dear Hurt,

I think above everything else you are feeling so betrayed.  How horrible this must have been for you to realize that this “knight in shining armour” was a two-timer, playing with your emotions .

So, let’s talk for a moment; you guys got together, hit it off and then decided that you really cared for each other and then involved your families.  Wow, I could only imagine how you must have thought that this was on a serious track towards a long-term relationship.  I’m even upset that your daughter is also attached to him, which isn’t fair to her, because he was misrepresenting himself in her life too!  

So, what to do?  Thankfully, you guys didn’t get engaged, have a baby together or move in together as well. I wouldn’t blame you if you decided that you couldn’t trust him (even though you are in love with him) and moved on.  You have to decide what you are going to do.  Never should you be the “side chick” or the “other woman”.  You are worth much more than that!  

Remember, you are only 22 years old, with a big bright future ahead of you. One day, you may well become someone else’s one and only.  So, it’s time to make those hard decisions … you can do it.  You are worth it! 

Good luck,

Rosie