I’m too scared to leave my boyfriend. Help!
Hey Rosie,
My problem is that I am in a seven-year relationship with a man who has been beating me for the last five years. Rosie, I donât know what to do. I want to leave, but I donât have any place to go. My family has begged me time and time again to leave him and I didnât go. So, they arenât speaking to me. My dad has asked why am I there with this monster, because he never beat my mom. I canât even answer him. Rosie, we have a 3 1/2-year-old daughter and I have a semi-decent job, but I donât have enough money to live on my own and take care of my daughter as well. Plus he told me that I canât leave him. Help me, I am tired of the hitting, cursing and abuse.
Hurt
Dear Hurt,
Wow, this is horrible! I can feel that you are at the end of your rope; I tend to see this when someone who is going through domestic violence has had more than enough. So, you are at this crossroads and a major decision has to be made by you.
What jumps out at me and causes me great concern is his threat that you cannot leave. Now, that is something that should NEVER be taken lightly. First you should seek legal help from the police â find out about a restraining order and what you would have to do in order to remain safe after leaving the relationship. This is not going to be easy, but you can make these new changes and be stronger for it in the long run.
I would then seek legal counsel in terms of visitation and possible shared custody of your daughter. This would be helpful to set some clear rules going forward; maybe someone can act as a middle person when there is a drop-off or pick-up for visitation. I would then ask you to make peace with your family, I am pretty sure that once they realize that you are serious about taking this step, they would be there to support both of you. You are very fortunate to have a supportive family and please do not use the excuse that you donât make enough money to remain in a dangerous situation.
Be strong, be focused, seek counselling and know that YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. Good luck!
Rosie
Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines
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