I am fed up with her accusations, judging me

Hey Rosie,

Greetings to you and I must say I read your colunm every week and think that this is my time to ask for your help.

My problem is that I have been with my girlfriend for the last 9 1/2 years; we were not living together for the first four. Everything was going well then; she had no problem with me or anything.{{more}}

When I met her, I had a lot of female friends, because I can trust and talk to them and not hear back what I tell them. The thing is, Rosie, the problems started when we moved in together, as she is always accusing me of things I don’t know about and she always thinks I have other women.

Whenever I come home from work, she always thinks that I have been somewhere with a woman and if my phone rings, she says it’s a woman. I have no private life. I even went as far as getting engaged to her to prove to her that I love her and there is nothing going on between me and these female friends. I wanted to get married to her over three years now, but I don’t think I can get married to her, thinking that she would change. I am fed up with her accusations and judging me, so please tell me what I should do.

I love this girl; I give her everything she wants and needs; I provide for her in every way I can, but I am just fed up.

Dear Fed Up,

You are definitely at the crossroads; in fact, I think this has been this way for a few years.

Plain and simple there is no trust in this relationship – especially from your fiancée’s point of view. This relationship is stuck and you are at an impasse, so you will have to come to a decision really soon.

To stay in this relationship and keep spinning your wheels in the mud year in and year out isn’t helping you guys grow to the next level. I think you both will have to decide to go to intensive therapy together, so you can make the necessary changes to make your relationship better. Or be strong enough to know if it’s time to call this relationship quits.

So, have this very real and straightforward conversation with each other and hash out your trust issue­s and what makes both of you unhappy. Maybe you would both find out that you are better off apart than in a non-working relationship.

I wish you both the best.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines