Should I be insecure about my partner’s ex’s commitment to her and their children?
Hey Rosie,
I am a professional guy in his 30s and Iâve dated many smart and successful women as well. Many of them are very attractive and in a manner speaking have the whole âpackageâ for the ideal partner. But strangely, no one did it for me until I met this young lady recently at a conference.{{more}}
She is beautiful, smart, independent has a great career, but the drawback is that she has two young children from a previous marriage.
She and I have been dating for about three months and she hasnât introduced them to me yet. She is very protective, because she says she doesnât want them to meet me until she is knows that we are working towards a committed future. Their dad is also very involved in their lives (hers too) and this makes me uncomfortable.
Should I stay, because I really like this woman a lot? Or should I move on and let her find someone who does not have this level of anxiety about her kids and ex?
On the Fence
Dear On the Fence,
Well, this is a very fair question. This is still very early on in the relationship and if there are things bothering you this early, you should sort them out before moving forward.
It is quite obvious that you have a great deal of admiration and attraction for this woman and rightly so. She seems to have it together in terms of her career and family. I also do not blame her for not introducing the children to you, because they donât need to meet you unless you are someone who is going to be around in their lives.
Then, there is the ex; Iâm happy that heâs involved with his children, that doesnât have to mean that heâs involved with her romantically. It just means they are working on being good co-parents. If you are going to have a long-term relationship, you will just have to come to a respectful and working relationship with him.
Take a little time apart (tell her what you are doing) and sort out your feelings. It is the right thing to do and I totally give you credit for raising these very valid points now rather than later. You can save everyone involved a world of hurt.
Good luck,
Rosie
Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.
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