Rivalry with my sister is getting overbearing

Hey Rosie,

My problem is that I’m always in some sort of competition with my older sister, or so it would seem to me.

Either it’s with the children, our jobs, our mother’s time, clothes, where we are going for vacation etc, and it can get very annoying and tiring. We live in the same area, go to the same church and work in the same building, so it is difficult to avoid her! Sometimes, I go out of my way to avoid her for a few days,{{more}} because I can’t stand how she has to brag about her life and put down mine.

I think she is noticing that I’m distancing myself and hanging with my other friends more and not including her, as I usually do.

How can I put a stop to this before it ruins our relationship? I do love my sister, but this is too much!

Done

Dear Done,

Sibling rivalry is a real issue! In fact, I hear it’s very intense when it comes to sisters especially. Most of the time I don’t think it’s mean-spirited, but it can become very overbearing.

Look, simply put, you will have to be real with her, and let her know that this competition thing is getting to you. Explain that you love her, but everything can’t be who or what is better than the other.

Know that she may become defensive and say that you do the same thing (which may be true), but you have to be equally open to hearing what she has to say.

Finally, a good tip is to give each other a code word when you both are crossing the line, so each one knows to dial that behaviour back! You ladies love each other and can get past this with respect and awareness for each other’s feelings.

Good luck!

Rosie

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