My 13-year-old daughter is a know-all and has a bad attitude!

Hey Rosie,

I have a very stubborn 13-year-old daughter. She knows more than me, Rosie (or so she thinks); no matter what I tell her, she has an answer and bad attitude to go with it. I have three other daughters; she’s the middle one and they range from 10 – 16, and they don’t give me half of the grief that she does.{{more}} I am told she’s rude in school as well. No matter what we do, she still does what she wants. My husband and I are really worried about her because she runs with a rough crowd too. Any advice?

End Of Our Rope

Hello End of Our Rope,

I have to tell you that even though your 13-year-old is causing you some grey hairs earlier than normal, she isn’t far off the rails by being a surly teenager. Is it acceptable? No, no, no, but it’s normal at this age. The trick is how do we guide and manage this behaviour during this turbulent time?

The one trick I can tell you, no matter how bad it gets, is to be consistent. You, along with your hubby, should also be on the same page. So, no matter what is going down, she can’t play one against the other – a united front is necessary.

So, there also needs to be consequences for her actions. She needs to know that if she goes against what the rules of the house are, she will have to deal with the aftermath. Sometimes as parents we think that it’s not working, but keep at it; she will eventually get the message.

A couple of other things: even when you are mad, remind her how much you care about her and love her. Let her know what she means to you – even though it may seem as though she doesn’t want to hear it, she would need to still know it. Also seek professional counselling. I think she may need a neutral party to work out some of these behaviours. Lastly, just breathe. Yes, breathe. Don’t beat yourself up, we have all gone through this at some point and knowing that this is just for a period of time can help you remain focused on the task at hand. Being firm, loving and consistent will help you conquer this young rebel. Good luck!

Rosie