My close girlfriend only wants me when she can get something

Hey Rosie,

My close girlfriend is truly making me realize that she is only around me when times are good and she can get something from me. Otherwise, when things are not going good, she is no where to be found.

My mom brought this to my attention about a year ago and I was like my mom is always hating on my friends, she doesn’t like anyone of them. But this last incident I have to say she was right! What happened was that we would have an end of summer trip away for a few days{{more}} and my family would allow me to bring two or three of my closest friends, and they would pay for them. Everything, Rosie — the trip, hotel and sightseeing. I guess I took that for granted. So, we would all look forward to the long weekend away before we would go back to school. This year I could only take one friend, as things were a little tight for my parents; so I took my other friend. When I told my two other girlfriends, one was disappointed, but understood (she said buy me a key ring); but the fair-weather friend was so upset, she hung up the phone on me! Every time I tried to call her, text or Skype her, she would ignore me! I can’t believe she is acting like this! I am going to see her next week in school; what should I do, Rosie? Should I try to make up with her? She really hurt my feelings.

Lost

Dear Lost,

Yes, I can imagine how hurt your feelings are right at this moment. But guess what? She did you a HUGE favour, yes ma’am, she did. What kind of nonsense is this that you can be so upset that your good friend couldn’t afford to take you away for vacation? That was a privilege she had going on there for a while and she thought that it was to be expected – which shows how ungrateful she was.

I think because you have always been friends and you like her so much you never saw her real short-comings, but I am here to tell you she was like this all along and your mother was right. Personally, I would not reach out anymore to her. In fact, I know for a fact when she gets off her high horse she will come back around again, because she will miss all the good-times. But I am going to use this old time phrase: “Feed her with a long spoon.” I wouldn’t keep her too close; she doesn’t mean you well at all.

Sometimes we learn these painful lessons and it seems like life is over, but the next time someone like her shows up in your life with a different name but the same actions, you can quickly spot them and side-step the madness early. My girl, keep on walking…

Rosie