Why should I choose between my two boyfriends?

Hey Rosie,

My question is a simple one: why do I have to choose between the two guys that I am seeing right now? I have never hid the fact that I am seeing both of them. I like them for two separate reasons: one is funny and a bit dangerous and the other is kind and very sensitive. They both go to the same school, but have different classes and once were friends.{{more}} I think they aren’t that friendly because of this situation. So, my girlfriends are telling me that I have to choose, but the guys are not saying anything to me, so why should I? I don’t think I am hurting anyone; if I was, they would have said something. We are all 19, Rosie; why do I have to choose?

Cake And Eat It Too

Hello Cake And Eat It Too,

Well, well, well! Now, this is a turn that I didn’t see coming. You are in full control and it looks like you love it too! I can see why this unconventional set-up would have many scratching their heads and saying that you should make a choice. To many outsiders, this may not be ladylike behaviour at all and it may be frowned upon as well.

However, the kicker here is that your boos are silent (so you say) and aren’t forcing your hand to make a choice either! Why do I think they are both slightly embarrassed, but their egos would not allow them to address it? You, my dear are coming off as an alpha female and I am truly at a little loss for words – this does not happen often! So, are you asking me this question because other people are saying it’s wrong, or because you aren’t comfortable either?

Look, at the end of the day, can you look at yourself in the mirror after playing this “game” with these two guys? You know in your heart this isn’t right. I would be telling off the guys if they asked me the same question, so I can’t give you a pass on this at all. Maybe you should just “date”. Get to know many different guys, without any sort of intimate and deep attachment. You are only 19 and should be hanging out and having fun at this stage. So, personally, I would be very upfront and just not see both of these guys. If you can remain friends, then that’s great; if not, I would not be going between them exclusively like this.

Do the right thing please. I know you are smart enough to make the right and decent choices.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com

or PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines