My husband is gay! What should I do?

Hey Rosie,

I’m so upset right now, but I just got a call from this random guy that he is having an affair with my husband! Rosie, I want to throw up! In fact, I feel so betrayed, I can’t even function. We have been together for over 12 years and we have three wonderful kids, a great house and thriving careers. I’ve heard rumours in the past about his sexuality, but I never saw it first-hand. But to get this call has devastated me and I want to run! Rosie, do I approach him or do I call it quits? I haven’t even told my family or close friends, because I feel so empty and hurt. I want to kill him!{{more}}

I am so angry

Dear I am so angry?

Well, I can totally understand why you feel this way. I would also feel the same way if I got that call too! It’s the betrayal that I know has you going out of your mind. All I can say is that you are going to have to step back for a moment, gather your thoughts and centre yourself before you move forward.

Now, how do you know this man is telling the truth? This is my first question. Some people love to start confusion for various reasons. Then secondly, doesn’t your husband deserve to at least have the opportunity to defend himself? Making a haphazard decision is the worst thing you can do without all of the facts first.

Then you mentioned that you had heard rumours years ago. Did you do your due diligence to see if there was any sort of credibility regarding his preferences? Look, at the end of the day, we have to be accountable for our own behaviours. You can’t be held responsible for his actions – he is. You now have to make some major decisions and I strongly suggest that you seek professional help in guiding you through this major crossroads.

All the best, my friend, I know with professional intervention you will be able to make a clear and concise decision about the future of your marriage.

Rosie