How do I make my baby’s father understand that we are through?

Hey Rosie,

I’m trying to keep my head above water because my baby’s father is giving me hell.

He left us when our daughter was four months old. He has never given her anything in terms of money, diapers, anything and she is now two and a half years old. I have been able to graduate with my bachelor’s degree (with a lot of help from my parents and sisters).{{more}} I just got my first decent job and this man is still trying to harass me about who am I seeing, where am I going, calling and texting me constantly on my phone. Rosie, this man already lives with another woman (someone I know very well) and is still trying to mess with my life. How can I get him to understand that we are not and never will be together again? Also, for the record, I have never slept with him since he walked out on us. I am just so tired of his games and the shameful way that he treats our beautiful daughter. The only redeeming grace is that his parents are involved and look out for their granddaughter and are very embarrassed by his behaviour. Rosie, how do I get it through his thick skull that we are through?

Done

Dear Done,

Well, he is special. Not in a good way either. However, after reading this letter, let me give you a round of applause for remaining focused and getting your degree and career on track. This shows that you are a very driven individual, who also recognizes when she was being supported by her loved ones. I am very proud of you.

Now, coming back to Mr Special, well, I am a little lost for words. He seems like the kind of person who wants to have his cake and eat it too. He is going to have to learn the hard way that you have moved on with your life and he is no longer in it. So, simply put, with all that is in you, please IGNORE HIM. I would actually go so far as to change my phone numbers as well. Don’t indulge him in conversation when he calls or tries to reach out; he is not enhancing your life at all.

You did not mention physical or verbal abuse – if this was the case you would have to go to great lengths to protect yourself with a restraining order, maybe moving and also limiting his family’s access to your everyday whereabouts. But this is not the case it seems. However, I would definitely encourage you to seek child support, because your daughter deserves at least that. I still can’t believe how irresponsible he’s acting and on top of that he is still trying to weave himself into your life.

One day (if this hasn’t already happened), you will meet someone who is deserving of your time and love. You will be able to regain trust and respect bit by bit. Your ex will have to realize that your ship has sailed. Continue to be the great mother that you are. Let your family know if there are any major changes coming from him and if you feel threatened, seek out the law. I wish you the best.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or

PO Box 152,Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines