My best friend has been talking about me behind my back!

Hey Rosie,

When can you tell your supposed best friend that you know that she is talking about you behind your back? Rosie, I can’t believe it; we have been friends for over 10 years! Since kindergarten and she does me like this? Rosie, at first, people were telling me things that I had only told her, but I doubted myself. Then one day, I told her a made-up story and it came right back to me in a matter of days and then I knew she was betraying me. I am so hurt, Rosie; she knows all of my secrets and I thought we would be friends for life, but now I am seeing she is a snake in the grass! She still hangs out with me, at my house and with my family. My sister and mother know what happened and told me to stop talking to her. What do you think? She does not know that I know.{{more}}

Betrayed

Dear Betrayed,

Well, I understand very well when someone you trust betrays you. I think we all go through this at some point in our lives. It is such a horrible feeling that I really do understand what you are going through.

Now, what to do? This is definitely a life lesson you are going through; a few of them, in fact. First of all, you are learning that not everyone that comes into your life will be there forever. This is a difficult fact for many people to reconcile with, but it’s the truth. They are not always bad people, but they have just played out their welcome in our lives and we have to learn the gift of “goodbye”, because if we hold on to a relationship that has run its full course, it then can become very toxic in the long run.

The second lesson is you have to be careful with who you talk to and what you share with that person. I’ve discovered that the person who doesn’t ever betray you is really you! Which leads me to my final point: there is the little fact about gossiping; if you are gossiping about people with others, then why wouldn’t you think that person wouldn’t be doing the very same to you? Again, be careful what you put out into the world, because it can come right back to you in a very negative way.

Yes, I do agree with your mother and sister. I think you may have to walk away from this friendship. Yes, she has been your BFF for over 10 years, but this relationship may have run its course. But, if you are honest with yourself, you don’t trust her and isn’t that the most important thing in any relationship — trust? You may want to let her know how you feel and what you are going to do, but at the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for you. I wish the very best, my young friend.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or

PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines