Should I stay or go?
Iâm a professional and hardworking man in my 40s who has been in a long-term relationship for 19 years. My girlfriend and I have a 14-year-old daughter and we all live together. Rosie, on paper, we look great, but behind closed doors we are not on the same page. She loves to spend money on dumb stuff: party with her girlfriends, not take care of her bills (because she knows I will) and she is our daughterâs bestie, instead of being a parent.{{more}} When she canât handle the nonsense, she makes me the bad guy. We fight a lot because we are not on the same page, especially with my daughter and the bills. Truthfully I see this isnât working out, but I am sticking it out because of my daughter. Rosie, people have suggested counselling and I think itâs a waste of time. Should I stay or should I go?
Stuck
Dear Stuck,
Well, just going based on your version I can tell you are mentally checking out of this relationship and really the only thing keeping you there is your daughter. This couldnât be a good situation at home at all. especially for your daughter who is witnessing this tension.
So, as usual, the final decision is yours. No one can make that call for you. However, I do know many times itâs worse for a child to grow up in a household with two unhappy parents who are bickering and fighting, rather than perhaps a peaceful household where the parents have decided that they are going to successfully co-parent separately and do whatâs best for them. Now, are you the type of parents who can do that ?
You were dismissive of counselling, but maybe you both should go, because it would give you some clarity as to which direction you both should take.
You both should lay your cards honestly on the table and decide what is in the best interest of ALL involved, then decide how you are going to achieve it. Move forward in faith and stop marinating in hate. Peace be with you all.
Rosie
Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,
Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.
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