My friend has horrible hygiene! What should I do?

Dear Rosie,

I have a problem with a good friend and her hygiene. She doesn’t bathe every day, or brush her teeth or even wash her hands when she leaves the bathroom! She stayed with us for two weeks while she was having some personal issues with her family and we couldn’t believe how horrible her hygiene was! She would go to sleep, not take a shower, get up last minute, go to the bathroom, not shower, then dress and go to work. My dad asked me when was the last time she had a bath and then we realized it was over five days! Rosie, she is also sleeping around and doing this! How can I talk to her, because I know my mom is itching to talk to her and I know it will not go down well! Please help me!{{more}}

This is Bad

Dear This is Bad,

Well, I was cringing while I read this! Wow, wow, wow! Where does Rosie begin? I am almost lightheaded thinking about a young lady living like this!

Listen, talking to someone about their hygiene is a difficult thing to do, but if you are truly their friend, you would try to give them a heads- up that this a very noticeable and poor quality to have. Ok, so here goes: You have to tell her first that you really love her to death and your are her friend, but she has a hygiene issue. Now, be very prepared for her to become loud and defiant! Or she will say things like: “That’s not true!” “I bathe everyday!” etc. You will have to calmly stand your ground and state what you’ve observed.

Now, this may cause a rift for a while. One of two things will happen: when she’s on her own she will be embarrassed, reflective and realize that she WILL have to make some big changes, because her smelly secret is out in the open. Or it can go a whole other way and she may be wrong and strong, where she will keep these very bad habits; then there is NOTHING you can do for her. If she goes this route, then one day she will be put on blast by a partner or even a stranger; it will happen in a very painful lesson to learn, I tell you. So, she should treasure you and your concern, because many people are very afraid to do or say something about this very delicate matter.

I consider you a great friend and just make sure that you are prepared that this can go either way.

Rosie