My husband is cheating on me with a girl who is my son’s friend

Hey Rosie,

I’m a grown married woman in her late 40’s, with adult children and a wonderful career. I thought that I also had a solid marriage, until I found out that my husband has been cheating with a girl who is 23! To make matters worse, I’ve known her since she was 15, because she’s a friend of my son! They don’t know that I know yet, Rosie, because I just unravelled the truth via texts and emails between them! I am numb, but I want revenge. What should I do? Because now, just looking at my husband disgusts me and I don’t even want to sleep in the same bed with him, much less let him touch me. Help me fast please.{{more}}

Betrayed

Dear Betrayed,

I really do feel for you. It’s like you’ve had the rug pulled out from under you and the cold nasty floor is just looking up at you.

Well, the first thing is that you don’t roll over and become a victim; that’s for sure. Be still for a moment and decide what it is you are going to do. Are you going to stay, go or get to the bottom of why he did this to you? The latter would require much therapy from both of you to unearth these answers.

I would also make sure you have a trustworthy support system which can be your sounding board and guide, as you make your next steps to confront your husband. I would also make it clear that she can NEVER step foot back into your home!

Also do NOT approach her; this is presently between you and your husband. Pulling her in makes it murky and unnecessary to your frame of mind. Lastly, speak to your lawyer, along with your counsellor or pastor. You will need to weigh all of your options going forward.

Remember you are a young and vital woman, with a long future ahead of you. I wish you much success in whatever decisions you make.

Rosie