Should I fight for him or should I let him go?

Hey Rosie,

I am an 18-year-old young lady and I must say I am madly in love with this guy.

When I met him, I knew he had a girlfriend, but things were not going right for them then, so I continued talking to him. He enjoyed my company back then and thanked me for being there for him.{{more}} We got to love each other and started a relationship, even though this girl was still in the picture. He didn’t care, because she wasn’t treating him right.

He is not in the country often, but when he is here, we would still have our relationship going; he even made up his mind about who he wanted to be with.

I waited on him for nine months, Rosie, without dating anyone and now, I regret it all. When he arrived in the country, we spent a lot of time together for the first month. After that, his girlfriend heard about us and she tried to get him to love her again.

I must say she succeeded. She started to do things for him that she never did before, going places with him, sleeping by him, because Rosie, he is an ambitious young man. He built his own home and has all he needs, because he works in the military force in America. I couldn’t care less about what he has, I’m just in love with him.

The thing with him is that he is very truthful and trustworthy. For the past few months, things have changed and I am going insane. I know that he loves her still because they have been together, and he doesn’t spend any time with me anymore. It’s like he forgot what we had. I try to forget him at times and try to focus on more important things, but he always finds his way back.

I thought at first I could handle the stress, but it has passed the limit and it’s like my life is going to end. I don’t know what else to do or say to him for him to love me. Rosie, should I fight for him or should I let him go? I have done so much for him and he knows I love him; yes, he loves me too, but not as much. He even cried when we spoke about us, but all he says is that he doesn’t know what he wants and he can’t make up his mind. Rosie, I want to know what to do because I am tripping. I even broke my phones and sim cards just to stay away, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

Confused and Need Directions

Dear Confused and Need Directions,

First of all, just take a moment, STOP and BREATHE! I need you to calm down A LOT! I can feel the panic in this letter and that isn’t good for your physical and mental health at all.

Let me tell you something. You can’t make someone do anything they aren’t prepared to do; and sadly your ex isn’t willing to make his choice at the moment. So, guess what? You are in the middle of an important life lesson. You have to love yourself first. This is so very important to remember. Never get involved with a person who hasn’t ended their relationship either (it may be a little late now, but you will remember this going forward). Then, you have to find an outlet for your anger and hurt. You NEED to go speak to someone professionally, so you can get this hurt and betrayal off your chest.

In life, we are going to meet partners who will make our hearts race, people for whom you can’t do enough. Just the thought of this person may make you smile like an idiot. Making you feel warm all over – but guess what? They aren’t always good for you. You need the discernment to recognize when you are about to walk into a situation that will not work for you. It all comes back to loving yourself; you must always make yourself a top priority.

So, let him go. He may be a nice guy, but not the guy for you, at least not now. Then, start taking care of you. When you feel anxious, take nice, slow, long and deep breaths. You can be anything and successful too. So, start investing your energies in you, then sit back and reap the positive benefits. Wishing you strength and courage.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.