Why do I keep getting the short end of the stick?

Hey Rosie,

I read you every week and I keep wanting to write to you. My issues are making the same wrong choices everytime, be it with friends, jobs, men, school and the list goes on! Rosie, I have a great family and that is my safety net. I am 31 years old. I’ve been in and out of many, many relationships, which always end badly or sometimes violently. I’ve had an ex break the windows out of my car; I’ve had them follow me home at night and then cut me off on the highway.{{more}} I’ve had my bestie sleep with my man on three different occasions (3 different guys, Rosie, and I forgave her the first 2 times!). I can’t seem to finish school; my Moms is there for me, but we fight a lot! She can’t understand why I can’t get it together. Meanwhile, my younger sister, who is 26, is finishing her Master’s and is engaged and settled. Meanwhile, we fight a lot and I am so sick of how my family compares us. She is also getting a new place and I am still living at home, working at another job that I hate! Why is this happening to me, Rosie? Why? I want all the good things that life has to offer, but I seem to be getting the short end of the stick. I am losing my mind.

Help me Please!

Dear Help Me Please,

Thank you for being a loyal reader, but I don’t know how much of what I have to say you are going to like. You do know that you are the problem here, right? You are going to have to one day finally take responsibility for you. If not, you will become that chick who always seems to make poor choices.

Why are you going through these revolving doors of violent and dangerous relationships with these various men? This lets me know that you are NOT using your good judgment and keep picking the same fool with a different name. You aren’t a teenager anymore; you know the signs of someone who has a lot of “game” and no substance at all. But maybe you are more into the package, rather than what the man is bringing to the table? In other words, maybe the fly guy who has the nice ride, instead of the brother who is working and going to school, who may not be able to give you all the material things at this time?

Then your girlfriend or so-called “bestie” – really? That she is not! You let her back into your life twice, to have her take your men three times? This is again poor judgment on your part! Why is she your bestie in the first place? Maybe she knows that you have low self-esteem and she is playing you; drop her! Yup, she’s poison. Get into some serious counselling and start building your own self-worth and stop looking for validation through others; you can do this.

Finally, stop leaning on your mother, hating your sister’s success and blaming the world for not having what you desire. Admitting that YOU are the one making these poor choices is going to be the first major step that will begin the new and positive chapter in your life. Listen to that “Inner Voice” that tells you, “no.” Normally it’s God talking to your spirit. I know you can do this, but this change is up to you.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines.