Am I too young to get married?

Hey Rosie,

The advice you give every week is wonderful.

I have a little problem of my own. I just turned 20 in December and my fiancé proposed to me on my birthday.{{more}} It was one of the best days I had ever had. Now the thing is, my friends think I’m too young to get married. I have tried to tell them that being engaged does not mean I’m getting married tomorrow. The thing is, Rosie, I have been with my fiancé since I was 17, and we have a one-year-old baby and he doesn’t want our child to grow up with his father one way and me the other. Rosie, I really need your advice on this.

Engaged

Hello, Engaged,

Sometimes I go by instinct when answering my letters, and this is one of them. You come off as very poised, focused and mature for your age. So my answer is a little different than normal.

I am going to encourage you along your ultimate path to marry your child’s father. I just have a few questions to you:

Does your fiancé treat you respectfully? No hitting, mind games or cheating ?

Is he and can he take care of you and the baby financially?

Are you both willing to seek intensive pre-marital counseling?

Are both sides of the family supportive, but not meddlesome, in order to make your relationship survive and flourish?

Finally, do you both have the same faith and moral base to build a united and strong foundation?

If you answered yes to ALL the above mentioned questions, I think you have a fighting chance to survive and have a successful marriage. Do not be mistaken, I would like to see both of you pursue your education, careers and other aspirations. But you’ve started young, with a young one to account for. So call it a “vibe”; I think you guys can do this.

My husband and I got married very young in our very early 20s. It was not easy and there are still many challenges, but the prayers of many and our faith in God keep us focused. So it can be done. Be blessed, and good luck to you both.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,
Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.