Girl loves her female cousin ‘a tad bit more than such’

Hey Rosie,

I’ve been seeing this girl since last April and have grown very attached to her and I love her very much.

Within two months of our getting together, she went away to pursue studies, but we have been connected, and I, however, find it hard to live without her.{{more}}

Rosie, this female is my cousin and I love her a tad bit more than such. I have a boyfriend, so does she, but we have been kicking it for a while. I really love her and do not wish to lose her, and I get very competitive when she is with other males/females.

Note, neither of us is gay, but have a strong connection with each other. Right now, I am very confused and would do anything to make her happy or please this girl.

Rosie, what to do?

Signed confused

Dear Confused,

So I’m reading your letter and I am jolted twice, making me re-read it again so I could make sure there was no mistaking what I was reading. What kinds of drama have you and your cousin placed yourselves in? At the very least, I do hope you know that this obsession is not healthy at all.

The first issue at hand is that she’s your cousin. Let me say it again your COUSIN! What do you mean by, “getting together”? Do you mean sexually or just meeting each other for the first time? Whatever that means you fell hard and then began to experience separation anxiety (something you may want to speak to a counselor about). To have this type of relationship with your cousin is not the norm, and is not encouraged, both socially and sexually. I know you mentioned that you are not gay, but reading your letter it’s filled with the overtones of a very jealous lover. So you may want to address that as well.

This leads me to the second issue at hand, your intensity for your cousin, which is reflected in your words such as, “competitive” or “hard to live without her”. You really have to ask yourself why do you feel this way? Are you willing to work on not being so caught up in her every movement and actions? Most important, are you willing to admit that you are in love with your cousin and also the fact that you should seek professional help in order to explore why?

I can’t address you cousin because I don’t know what her side is to this. I want you to realize that loving someone, even if it’s a family member, is one thing, but when you cross an inappropriate line and you aren’t ready to admit it then you have a struggle and hurdle to overcome. You have to let this intensity go, and please move on. This will not end well! I really do wish you well.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.