My boyfriend wants a baby before we get married

Hey Rosie,

I love the advice you give every week. I am a 20-year-old woman and I just came out of school. The problem is that my boyfriend is 22-years-old and he thinks we should start a family together. Well, his way for starting this family is having a baby first then marriage. I really don’t feel this is the way to go.{{more}}

Don’t feel this is the way

Dear Don’t feel this is the way,

I am so happy to hear that you finished school. I hope that you will continue your studies. Education will open your doors and options in life.

So you and your Boo are at the baby talking stage, huh? Well, please keep it at the talking stage. You are SO correct; this is backward. Why would you want to have a baby first without having a solid, committed, stable relationship? In your case, this comes in the form of a marriage. There is nothing wrong with you wanting things to come in a particular and conventional order. So, I ask you, what is his rush at 22 to start a family? I would think at this young age a couple would want to enjoy each other’s company, growing together, getting to know each other’s view points on life, expectations for the future etc. Not pampers and formula!

With a baby in the mix, all that is a wrap. Babies are a 24/7 deal. Don’t get me wrong, they are little blessings, but a HUGE responsibility. Are you both ready for this? I think you may be thinking much more carefully about this than he is.

Finally, I am going back to the beginning of this letter. What about furthering your education? Evening classes or going away to school? There are so many choices for a 20-year-old woman today. You can be ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. The only limitations that are set before you are the ones you impose on yourself. My daughter is around your age so I am talking to you as I would her. Don’t settle; strive, fly and succeed, my young friend. I wish you BOTH the very best in your choices, actions and, most of all, peace of mind.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.