What should I do?

Hey Rosie,

I know you give really good advice, which is why I decided to write to you. Now, my thing is this. I am only 18-years-old and I have a really good relationship with a guy who is some years older than me.

Now, I was very careful with him, because he traveled a lot, so he knows a lot about women. We have been together for over 3 years now. I work in Kingstown. He doesn’t want me to hang out with friends at all.{{more}} One evening I met some friends in town and we decided to get a drink. Now, Rosie, all these friends are girls. I did something wrong. I admit that I did not tell him where I was when I called. When he went by me, my sister told him I wasn’t home. He got mad and went away. When I got home, he called me and told me that it’s over because I am a liar. Okay, that I can live with, but the other part Rosie, is that I am pregnant and he won’t answer my calls. What do I do now?

Desperate

Dear Desperate,

There is so much wrong here that I am trying to figure out where and how to start. First I have to say you are too young to be caught up in this level of drama. Why were you with this older guy to begin with? You got together with him at 15! He had so much more game than you, and even though you thought that you could have handled it, this proved not to be the case.

When an older man starts dating or talking to a teenager, it’s because he has control issues and doesn’t normally do well with women his own age. At 18 you have ALL right to go out after work and hang out with your friends (be it girls, guys or both). You are not married to him; this crap of having to get permission for an innocent hang is totally ridiculous. As a young adult, you should have the freedom to experience life, to laugh and get to know the opposite sex in a social setting.

However, you jumped a couple steps like Chinese Checkers and ended up in the spot with a control freak. So now we have to address the impending birth. Of course, babies don’t care how they get here, but how they will be cared for once they arrive. You are going to need a family member or someone you trust to help you contact the father regarding your situation. Besides this lovely “old” man you’ve hooked up with, what is YOUR plan? Let’s be very frank for a moment. There is a strong possibility that he may not want to have anything to do with you and the baby. Please go talk to your family, make sure you go to the doctor, start saving your money from your job, because babies aren’t cheap. You will be able to get over this hurdle. Consider it a life lesson; there’s no better teacher than life itself.

Whatever you decide, PLEASE be more selective about whom you become involved with! Your life isn’t over; it has just taken an early detour which you can very much recover from. Always keep school or classes in mind so you can keep bettering yourself going forward. If you do not get help on the home front, then please seek counseling. I wish you the strength at this young age to make the right choices for you and your little one. I know you can be a success in life once you make the RIGHT choices going forward.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.