I really think they are right for each other

Hey Rosie,

You are a source of strength to so many young people.{{more}} I have a touching situation and I think you can help me. You see, I have two friends that I really love. They are in love, but the thing is, because of his religion, he cannot marry her, and she has a father who doesn’t let her go anywhere. She is 20 years old, and never had a boyfriend. She is a Christian, a hard worker, and is kind and loving. He is a cool guy, a bit spoiled, in that he loves being pampered. Both of them started complaining that they don’t spend enough time together, because she finishes work at 5 p.m. and she has to get home by 6 p.m. or her father will be annoyed. She tries to please him and her father at the same time. Rosie, as a friend, what can I do? Or what you think the two of them should do? I really think they are right for each other. Thanks, Rosie, I know you will help this couple.

Helper

Dear Helper,

Well, this is different. You are advocating on behalf of your friends. This is something you don’t see very often. Let me say this first to you. Although your intentions seem to come from a good place, you really can’t help these two. You can just be a listening ear at this point, nothing more.

Now, you mentioned there are differences with religion and also her father being a tad over protective, even though she is 20? Let’s talk about the religious aspect first. This can be very difficult to overcome because some people may not be inclusive or welcoming to an outsider. If this is the case, someone may need to convert or at the very least have a neutral and respected person help them bridge the gap between both sides.

Now, regarding the father not letting a 20 year old have some sort of freedom, this again is a delicate balancing act. He knows she’s an adult, but he wants her to be his little girl for life. Not a realistic move at all. One day it will backfire because the child realizes that they aren’t given the opportunity to live their own lives and make their own mistakes. As a parent, it’s difficult to let go, but it’s necessary. We give our children the foundation to leave the nest, test their wings, hit some turbulence, but have the skill to soar above it. This father has to learn this lesson.

So at this point, if this couple can even make it to the point of “officially” have the blessing of both families to just date and get to know each other, this would be a great accomplishment on its own. They are going to have to decide if their relationship is worth it enough to respectfully create a united front to have a chance. A difficult feat, but not impossible. I wish them the best.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.