Let me break it down

Rosie,

I am lost and need your help…

I lived in St. Vincent for ten years and moved back to Canada in July. I’m 16 years old and I fell in love with a guy from there. We have had an off-and-on relationship but if you put it all together we have been together for about four years.{{more}}

This guy who I was with is 23 years old. Maybe you are thinking what am I doing with a guy that old, but I won’t lie to you – he is my soul mate, but its been so long and things are a little complicated with my life up here.

I met this guy and kinda feel in love with him but he’s nothing like my ex and it seems like I am trying to replace him with this new guy.

My ex calls me like almost everyday and we text all the time. He’s really hurt and he cries all the time. My friends there told me that he started drinking and cries to people about what I did to him and all the plans we made for the future and that I messed his life up really badly. I feel really bad for what I did and I really don’t know what to do. The guy I am with isn’t really bad, but he’s nothing like the guy I had and could never be compared, but the long distance relationship is killing me. help…please.

Yes you hit the nail on the head. You are 16 with a 23-year-old man. My girl, I am going to start backwards this time. You messed up his life? You are causing him to drink? You made him an emotional wreck? I think not! Let me break it down to you. This is another form of control. I am a little creeped out with the math you gave me in regards to how long you were with this guy. You were about 12ish? I am so hot right now, you have no idea! Any adult man who zeros into being with a young pre-adolescent child to have a “relationship” is a predator – plain and simple. It is what it is.

His whining and complaining to you everyday about what you did to him is emotional sabotage. Since when can you make any adult decisions about going abroad to live? Hmmm I wonder why? Maybe it is simply because you are still a minor! He is a big old hard back man, who is trying to control you. Aren’t you preparing for college in a few years? Aren’t you looking forward to the endless possibilities of who you will be? Why saddle yourself with all this drama?

I am not 100 per cent clear about this present boyfriend (especially his age!). But it looks like you want to have one of these deep adult-like relationships when you don’t need this at this point at your life. I think there was some divine intervention on your behalf that took you away from this very destructive situation. I believe God has a way of turning things around, always. Here are a couple of links in Canada that you can reach out to talk with someone:

www.bgccan.com/content.asp?L=E&DocID=57

www.helpingourteengirls.org/healthdisclaimer.htm

I have full faith that you can do this. Please reach out and seek some help. You have had a rough experience for such a young lady. I would also like to advise you to also break it off with this young man. He will be fine. Focus on your education, your future, self-improvement and know that your are destined to do great things. You can break this cycle now and not become a victim. I have much faith in you.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.