He still loves me even though I am HIV positive
Rosie,
I donât know if you can help me, I really donât know. First of all let me say that I am still in school. I will not specify as to whether secondary or tertiary. There is this guy with whom I have been going well now for about two years and some (off and on).{{more}} He is like a really good friend who is not selfish and he does anything he can for me, but thatâs all he ever felt like to me: a really good friend whom Iâve taken advantage of a lot.
He has let me know numerous times over that he really loves me, and I donât doubt it (Iâve told him that I love him too), but its like I am never satisfied. Heâs one of those hustler types whoâs often busy, but when he does find time for me, I do get quality loving. Rosie, the thing is, I donât know what I want and it has cost me dearly. I keep fooling around and now when I am thinking about him a lot and want to get serious with him, I find out that I am HIV positive and I think I got it from just kissing other guys. But thatâs not all. Iâve told him that I am HIV positive and he was shocked, but he is still the same. He still loves and supports me. Rosie I am seriously thinking about suicide because I think I may have infected him before I told him.
Suicidal
Dear Suicidal,
Your letter really touched me and my heart goes out to you.
First of all, how do you know you are HIV positive? Did you take a test? The only way to know for sure is to have an HIV test done. If you just suspect you have HIV, I urge you to call the National AIDS Secretariat at 451-2489. They will arrange for counseling and for you to have a free, confidential HIV test done.
However, if you have already done the test and know for sure you have HIV, finding this out must have been one of the biggest life-changing experiences. But I want to let you know that it is not the end of the world. It is a large hurdle, but you can overcome it. With the proper medical attention, diet and stress management you can live a very full and productive life.
However, I do recognize that you have deep feelings for this young man as well. Your concern about his health and well-being lets me know that you have a very kind heart. But you should be placing your energies at this time with getting yourself centered emotionally and in relation to your health. He should be doing the same thing for himself as well.
I also want to address the possibility of getting HIV from kissing. HIV can be contracted from kissing if the infected person has open sores in their mouth, or bleeding gums etc. This is something that one should be very aware of. Of course, HIV can also be contracted from unprotected sex, oral sex, sharing needles while using drugs and improperly screened and tested blood transfusions, among others.
Each and everyday, science makes progress in finding new treatments for this disease, but I cannot stress enough that keeping a positive frame of mind is most important in living the healthiest life possible.
You have a very strong inner presence. Use that. God is with you and so are other people. Focus on keeping as healthy as possible. Be careful with who you may have relationships with going forward and continue to plan your future. Suicide is NEVER, NEVER the answer you hear me? I want you to believe that God has a remarkable plan for you.
Here is a link for you to find out more information that can help you cope: http://www.apositivelife.com/livingwithhiv/living-with-hiv.html
Much love my girl,
Rosie
Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.
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