I love him but he’s too jealous!

Hey Rosie,

I’m a 17-year-old with a lovable boyfriend, but he gets angry toooo easily. He’s ignorant and it gets overbearing, but I love this boy to death. He’s quick to accuse me of anything he doesn’t like and he’s quick to get jealous. I can’t have any male friends calling me nor hugging me to greet me in the street.{{more}} If I leave my cell phone anywhere in his sight for a little while, he’ll go and search it and that gives me the impression that he doesn’t trust me, and that mostly happens when we are angry, which is every 4 days. I love him so much, but I don’t know what to do!

Unknown

Dear Unknown,

My girl, you really sound like such a cute, lovable and carefree soul, which also reminds me of my 16-year-old daughter. So you already know where I am going with this. Why for the love of all that is good are you putting yourself through this?

OK, OK, lets say that your “boo” is really and truly lovable. The major problem is that he has anger issues! He is distrustful of your every move, doesn’t want you having friends from the opposite sex, he goes through your phone and gets upset often. Do you know it is only going to get worse as he becomes more and more possessive?

You are 17. Let me say it again 17. Why aren’t you going out with your friends (guys and girls) hanging out and doing what you do best, which is hang out? Why are you tying yourself down to one guy who has his own issues to work out, but feels he must control you? Girl, you are not married, you are young and free. Fly and explore what this vast world has to offer. Also, I want you to keep this in the back of your head. If we put up with this kind of behavior, it only escalates to other types of abuse. Sometimes verbal, then physical. Don’t become a victim at this age. You are too intelligent, too young and I am sure too beautiful to put up with a unhealthy relationship at this stage..

As a side note, I really do want to encourage the older sisters, cousins and girlfriends to become “sister-friends” to our young women. We have traveled this road and recognize when our loved ones may not be in a safe or healthy situation. I say this because our society has strayed away from the adage “It takes a village to raise a child”. We are all so self absorbed to even notice what is going on in our homes or communities. Recognize that one person can make a great difference in another person’s life. I have been a recipient myself of such intervention and am very grateful to so many Vincentians who reached out to me as a youth. Don’t be a bystander.

Be brave, girlfriend, I would suggest letting this relationship go and getting to know yourself a little more and enjoying the journey as you do so. Be good.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.