Searchlight Logo
special_image

    • News
      • Front Page
      • News
      • Breaking News
      • Press Release
      • Features
      • Special Features
      • From the Courts
      • Sports
      • Regional / World
    • Opinions
      • Editorial
      • Our Readers’ Opinions
      • Bassy – Love Vine
      • Dr. Fraser- Point of View
      • R. Rose – Eye of the Needle
      • On Target
      • Dr Jozelle Miller
      • The World Around Us
      • Random Thoughts
    • Advice
      • Kitchen Corner
      • What’s on Fleek this week
      • Health Wise
      • Physician’s Weekly
      • Business Buzz
      • Hey Rosie!
      • Prime the pump
    • ePaper
    • Obituaries
      • In Memoriam / Acknowledgement
      • Tribute
    • Contact Us
      • Advertise With Us
      • Letters To The Editor
      • General Contact Information
      • Contact our Webmaster
    • About Us
      • Privacy Policy
      • Interactive Media Ltd
      • St. Vincent & the Grenadines
    • Subscribe
    • News
      • Front Page
      • News
      • Breaking News
      • Press Release
      • Features
      • Special Features
      • From the Courts
      • Sports
      • Regional / World
    • Opinions
      • Editorial
      • Our Readers’ Opinions
      • Bassy – Love Vine
      • Dr. Fraser- Point of View
      • R. Rose – Eye of the Needle
      • On Target
      • Dr Jozelle Miller
      • The World Around Us
      • Random Thoughts
    • Advice
      • Kitchen Corner
      • What’s on Fleek this week
      • Health Wise
      • Physician’s Weekly
      • Business Buzz
      • Hey Rosie!
      • Prime the pump
    • ePaper
    • Obituaries
      • In Memoriam / Acknowledgement
      • Tribute
    • Contact Us
      • Advertise With Us
      • Letters To The Editor
      • General Contact Information
      • Contact our Webmaster
    • About Us
      • Privacy Policy
      • Interactive Media Ltd
      • St. Vincent & the Grenadines
    • Subscribe
CONFESSIONS FROM HER DIARY PART 4
Features
January 28, 2005

CONFESSIONS FROM HER DIARY PART 4

I must have written a thousand letters in my lifetime, but that letter I wrote to Brandon was the most difficult. My wounded heart was still filled with emotions that could not be expressed in words and though I tried hard, for days I stared at an empty pad with nothing but the introduction “Dear Brandon”. {{more}}

I had so many things to say but I didn’t know where or how to start. I was writing the closing page for this painful chapter of my life, but saying goodbye is never easy, especially when you have to put it in writing, and in a way that makes sense.

This way you never really say what’s on your mind because you get to plan beforehand, you edit your feelings and you “sanitize” the things you say. But considering it, a letter was the best thing, because they don’t see you cry and you don’t make a complete fool of yourself.

About three weeks later, a letter came from Brandon. I didn’t really expect a response because he hardy spoke to me before he left. I was glad that he didn’t expose his wife to the virus and that he was coping. I finally got the peace of mind that I needed to move on with my life. Brandon was soon to be history!

I made weekly visits to my counsellor, because it was just hard to cope sometimes. The people at work found out that I was HIV positive and, although they were not openly hostile towards me, I could sometimes see them whispering when they thought that I wasn’t looking.

Even my close friends no longer came into my office to sit down as before; now they stood at the door with a scorn on their faces looking at me from head to toe as if the virus was crawling on my skin.

It was hard to command respect when others won’t even look at you or try to stay as far away as possible. I cried almost every night, sometimes I wanted to give up, to quit and go somewhere where nobody knows me and to start all over again. No! That was what Brandon did, and somehow I knew that was not for me. Besides, was Brandon really happy now?

Pam got a new job and she travelled a lot. She was the only person, apart from my counsellor, who did not treat me like a disease. Even my family was ashamed of me.

With Pam gone and no friends to console me, I became almost dependent on the advice and comfort from my counsellor. She said that I didn’t have to feel all-alone and recommended that I join a support group for Persons Living With HIV and AIDS.

I was a bit reluctant at first to join this support group. But my counsellor explained that this group met secretly once per week – every week in a different location so that others would not get suspicious. She said it consisted mainly of persons infected with HIV, or family members or friends of persons infected with HIV. She said that the members of this group find support among themselves, they listen to you and they don’t discriminate. Still I was hesitant, but I decided to give it a try.

More next week.











  • FacebookComments
  • ALSO IN THE NEWS
    12 left homeless in mid-day fire at Richland Park
    Front Page
    12 left homeless in mid-day fire at Richland Park
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    A fire that destroyed a multi-family complex in Richland Park over the weekend has left at least 12 people homeless, including a 23-year-old mother of...
    PM responds to US military strike on small boat off Venezuela
    Front Page
    PM responds to US military strike on small boat off Venezuela
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Prime Minister, Dr Ralph Gonsalves has responded to reports by the United States administration that its military had carried out the bombing of a boa...
    Building material disappear from the Mary Hutchinson Primary School
    Front Page
    Building material disappear from the Mary Hutchinson Primary School
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Police investigators on Union Island are said to be looking into the “disappearance” of building materials that were sent to the Southern Grenadine Is...
    What’s new at Fitz Hughes Government School?
    Front Page
    What’s new at Fitz Hughes Government School?
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    by Grace Francis After sharing a small space for over a year, children and teachers at the Fitz Hughes Early Childhood Centre went into brand new prem...
    MRI-6 donates over $70,000 for school meals for vulnerable students
    Front Page
    MRI-6 donates over $70,000 for school meals for vulnerable students
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Several secondary schools and special needs institutions across St Vincent and the Grenadines (SVG) have received $5,000 donations towards meals for s...
    Minister of Information Technology  emphasises the importance of Cybersecurity
    News
    Minister of Information Technology emphasises the importance of Cybersecurity
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Robust cybersecurity must be at the heart of the digital transformation that is currently taking place in St Vincent and the Grenadines (SVG) says Min...
    News
    Minister of Information Technology  emphasises the importance of Cybersecurity
    News
    Minister of Information Technology emphasises the importance of Cybersecurity
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Robust cybersecurity must be at the heart of the digital transformation that is currently taking place in St Vincent and the Grenadines (SVG) says Min...
    Entities team up to boost disaster communication capacity
    News
    Entities team up to boost disaster communication capacity
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    The Climate Change Resilience Network (CCRN) in collaboration with the Youlou Radio Movement (YRM) recently embarked on a disaster preparedness initia...
    Ministry of Health to get more dialysis machines
    News
    Ministry of Health to get more dialysis machines
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    The Ministry of Health, Wellness and the Environment, is to obtain three more Heamodialysis machines as part of the revolution in the healthcare secto...
    PM Gonsalves heads delegation to Ethiopia
    News
    PM Gonsalves heads delegation to Ethiopia
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Prime Minister, Dr Ralph Gonsalves, is leading a delegation to the East African country of Ethiopia; the delegation left the state on Wednesday, Septe...
    New Port to be opened on October 24- PM Gonsalves
    News
    New Port to be opened on October 24- PM Gonsalves
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    The modern port in Kingstown is expected to be handed over to the government just before this country celebrates its 46th anniversary of political ind...

    E-EDITION
    ePaper
    google_play
    app_store
    Subscribe Now
    • Interactive Media Ltd. • P.O. Box 152 • Kingstown • St. Vincent and the Grenadines • Phone: 784-456-1558 © Copyright Interactive Media Ltd.. All rights reserved.
    We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.Ok