Are Our Fathers Invisible?

The teacher asked the Grade 1 children; “What is God’s Name?”

They gave the teacher many different answers, from Jesus, to Yahweh, to Jehovah, but they were all surprised when one child said: “Please Miss , I think God’s name is Harold”.

The teacher was shocked, and asked the reason for this answer, and the child confidently replied: “well, when we say prayers, we say “Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be thy name….” Yes, fathers have a hard time.

In SVG, Mother’s Day is promoted well in advance, so that nobody has an excuse to forget the cards, the flowers, the lunches etc.

But Father’s Day is just there and gone again. No big thing. Are Fathers invisible?

Fathering a child is the easy part. After all, it’s the mother who then has nine months of pregnancy and then possibly up to 18 years of single -parenting !! There’s a huge difference between fathering a child, and BEING a Father to a child or children.

There’s even a huge difference between being a Father and being a Dad!!

Being a father isn’t easy. The first years can be great but the teenage years can be real Hell.

One wise father’s solution was to remember all the good times, and “click delete” for the bad times!

Some of these good times might include

– Watching your child’s first steps

-Telling bedtime stories

-Catching your children when they come running and jump into your arms ( they have total confidence that you will catch them safely!!!)

-Helping with homework!

-Fixing broken things. Dads can fix anything, right?

Fathers look back, and usually realise that they could have done better, especially as children learn from what they SEE, more than from what they are Taught.

All of us learned better from Examples, rather than from instructions. Maybe fathers could be better examples of Honesty? You can’t be just a little-bit Dishonest, just like you can’t be just a little-bit Pregnant. Either you are pregnant or you are Not pregnant So likewise, either you are Honest or you are Not Honest !

Or maybe fathers can show their children the Dignity that comes from honest work, no matter what type of work. That’s how children can learn self-esteem,

And teach them Responsibility, by Example.

And maybe fathers can show their children the need to help others, no matter who.

Try a little kindness. Today it’s “Them” but tomorrow it might be You who need help!

There’s a famous mis-quoted quotation from St Francis of Assisi saying:

“Preach the Gospel at all times; and if necessary, use Words “

In fact, what St Francis DID write is “ Let all the Brothers preach by their Works” . (And all of SVG knows that Actions speak louder than Words !! )

From the Bible, most Vincentians know the story of the Prodigal son. In truth, that story is really about the loving father, who watched and waited, and celebrated joyfully when the prodigal son returned “cap-in-hand’ as we say. That father was a real role-model for fathers throughout history, although the fatted calf wasn’t too happy about it!

When do you stop being a Father ? One wise father in his 80’s finds himself with a real problem in trying NOT to give advice to his 50-something-year- old child, who wouldn’t appreciate it.

Fathers may have problems letting go, so that children can learn from their mistakes. It’s not easy !

They call it “The American Dream” and we all know of Vincentians who have bravely left SVG for the USA and other countries and built a new life, working all hours doing two or even three jobs, struggling to survive, but managing to raise a family and put their children through college. The American Dream! and yet often, the father then dies suddenly, just burnt-out, and never has the opportunity to enjoy any of it personally.

In 1913, that’s 112 years ago, an English lawyer put words to a traditional Irish tune and wrote a song that has ben sung from the ancient Bing Crosby, and Jim Reeves and Harry Belafonte, even to the King of Rock & Roll, Elvis Presley.

The song is called “Danny Boy” and is sung by a loving father to a son who is leaving, possibly to fight in a war. The father knows that he may well die before his son returns, but he asks him to come “and find the place where I am lying, and kneel and say an ‘Ave’ there for me”.

The song is still so popular that it gave birth to “You Raise Me up” which so many Vincentians know well !

Fast Forward to the 1990’s when Moe Bandy sang his most famous song which was played endlessly on radio for years as he sang “Let me watch my children grow, to see what they become; and Lord, don’t let that cold wind blow till I’m too old to die young”.

May all Fathers in SVG continue to do their very best for their children and families in 2025 and always, and to quote from Michael Jackson who said it so well; May all Fathers help to “Heal the world, make it a better place; for you and for me and the entire human race “

A very Happy Father’s Day to all the Fathers throughout St Vincent and the Grenadines.