Managing Internal Conflict

It is believed that at some point in everyone’s life, we all experience an internal conflict. There is an intense battle between our minds and hearts. We are drawn to a particular decision, but perhaps mentally we cannot find peace within to actually follow through. What should we do in such complex situations?

What is Internal Conflict?

Internal conflict is the experience of having opposing psychological beliefs, desires, impulses or feelings. In the field of psychology, internal conflict is often referred to as “cognitive dissonance,” which is a term that refers to holding conflicting and inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes. This mental struggle can occur at any point in life over any topic, such as relationships, work commitments, religious beliefs, moral standpoints, and social ideologies.

An example of internal conflict would be a person who believes in women’s rights, but does not condone abortion. Internal conflict can often be seen in relationships where one person loves their partner, but they don’t feel emotionally available. In the religious world, internal conflict often occurs when one is faced with a doctrine or teaching they are uncomfortable propagating.

There is a saying that goes like this, “Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel.” If I were to use the analogy of Sigmund Freud, it would be that our innate primitive drives are being regulated by the higher expectations of society and external forces.

We experience internal conflict for a number of reasons. Often, there is no one “single cause” or origin, but there are a number of factors which include:

n The beliefs and rules we inherited from our parents

n The religious beliefs

n The societal values and ideals we adopted growing up

Quite simply, the more mental beliefs, ideals, expectations, and desires we have, the more likely we are to suffer from internal conflict. Now I am by no means suggesting that we should not abide by rules, or pay attention to what is deemed to be right or wrong; because failure to do so, results in a chaotic society. What we need to do is learn how to create balance between what we think and what we feel; and understand that in some cases logic will trump feelings and in other cases feelings and emotions may override what appears to be the logical choice.

Next Week – Types of Internal Conflict: