Searchlight Logo
special_image

    • News
      • Front Page
      • News
      • Breaking News
      • Press Release
      • Features
      • Special Features
      • From the Courts
      • Sports
      • Regional / World
    • Opinions
      • Editorial
      • Our Readers’ Opinions
      • Bassy – Love Vine
      • Dr. Fraser- Point of View
      • R. Rose – Eye of the Needle
      • On Target
      • Dr Jozelle Miller
      • The World Around Us
      • Random Thoughts
    • Advice
      • Kitchen Corner
      • What’s on Fleek this week
      • Health Wise
      • Physician’s Weekly
      • Business Buzz
      • Hey Rosie!
      • Prime the pump
    • ePaper
    • Obituaries
      • In Memoriam / Acknowledgement
      • Tribute
    • Contact Us
      • Advertise With Us
      • Letters To The Editor
      • General Contact Information
      • Contact our Webmaster
    • About Us
      • Privacy Policy
      • Interactive Media Ltd
      • St. Vincent & the Grenadines
    • Subscribe
    • News
      • Front Page
      • News
      • Breaking News
      • Press Release
      • Features
      • Special Features
      • From the Courts
      • Sports
      • Regional / World
    • Opinions
      • Editorial
      • Our Readers’ Opinions
      • Bassy – Love Vine
      • Dr. Fraser- Point of View
      • R. Rose – Eye of the Needle
      • On Target
      • Dr Jozelle Miller
      • The World Around Us
      • Random Thoughts
    • Advice
      • Kitchen Corner
      • What’s on Fleek this week
      • Health Wise
      • Physician’s Weekly
      • Business Buzz
      • Hey Rosie!
      • Prime the pump
    • ePaper
    • Obituaries
      • In Memoriam / Acknowledgement
      • Tribute
    • Contact Us
      • Advertise With Us
      • Letters To The Editor
      • General Contact Information
      • Contact our Webmaster
    • About Us
      • Privacy Policy
      • Interactive Media Ltd
      • St. Vincent & the Grenadines
    • Subscribe
Dear Pastor
January 28, 2005

Sexual desires ruining our friendship

Dear Pastor Jackson,

I have a problem that I would really like to share with you and get your advice on how I should handle it. I usually read your articles and like the down-to-earth way you deal with situations.

A friend and I recently did something very foolish. We have been friends for a long time but never had anything romantic. A few weeks ago a conversation came up and we were talking about things like how it would be to kiss each other and things like that. I really did not take it as anything because we’re both in relationships. So in my mind it was just two friends being honest about a crush we may have on each other but nothing more. {{more}}

A few days after that conversation she found out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her and to cut a long story short she left him. One evening she came by my home and we spoke about it and then one thing led to another and we ended up kissing and making love (but not having sex).

Now we cannot look at each other in the eye and I desire her so much. She and I are texting each other, talking about how it would be to go all the way and I am really worried.

I know it might sound strange as a man but I don’t want to mess up our friendship or my relationship with my girlfriend.

My girlfriend knows what happened because she saw a hickey on my chest so I told her everything. She is upset but we will be all right once nothing like that ever happens again. How should I handle it? I really need your advice.

Need Help

Hi Need Help,

You and your friend were caught in a classic case of rebound love. Yes you guys might have admitted your feelings of attraction for each other but it was the break-up with her boyfriend that created the right atmosphere for that foolish expression. Now as for dealing with it, remember it for what it was – a foolish mistake brought on by curiosity and a heartbreak (in your friend’s case). Also there is a crazy statement that is often used that suggests that words are not powerful … I think one rhyme says, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” That is CRAZINESS!! The things you and your friend discussed sowed seeds of lust and desire and as I said earlier her break-up watered this germinating seed of lust. So now you have to kill it… Stop feeding the desires. It is not going to go away overnight but you must make the necessary steps; stop talking about it for one! And if you ever talk about it, remember the hurt you caused your girlfriend and the strain you brought on your friendship with your friend. In the end, though, it is going to be a call of character and wisdom that will make things all right.

Character is needed to resist that temptation as you would any other that threatens your relationship and the wisdom to know that you can’t be around your friend as you used to, at least for now, until normalcy is resumed in your friendship and this lustful sexual pull is under control or killed.

  • FacebookComments
  • ALSO IN THE NEWS
    12 left homeless in mid-day fire at Richland Park
    Front Page
    12 left homeless in mid-day fire at Richland Park
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    A fire that destroyed a multi-family complex in Richland Park over the weekend has left at least 12 people homeless, including a 23-year-old mother of...
    PM responds to US military strike on small boat off Venezuela
    Front Page
    PM responds to US military strike on small boat off Venezuela
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Prime Minister, Dr Ralph Gonsalves has responded to reports by the United States administration that its military had carried out the bombing of a boa...
    Building material disappear from the Mary Hutchinson Primary School
    Front Page
    Building material disappear from the Mary Hutchinson Primary School
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Police investigators on Union Island are said to be looking into the “disappearance” of building materials that were sent to the Southern Grenadine Is...
    What’s new at Fitz Hughes Government School?
    Front Page
    What’s new at Fitz Hughes Government School?
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    by Grace Francis After sharing a small space for over a year, children and teachers at the Fitz Hughes Early Childhood Centre went into brand new prem...
    MRI-6 donates over $70,000 for school meals for vulnerable students
    Front Page
    MRI-6 donates over $70,000 for school meals for vulnerable students
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Several secondary schools and special needs institutions across St Vincent and the Grenadines (SVG) have received $5,000 donations towards meals for s...
    Minister of Information Technology  emphasises the importance of Cybersecurity
    News
    Minister of Information Technology emphasises the importance of Cybersecurity
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Robust cybersecurity must be at the heart of the digital transformation that is currently taking place in St Vincent and the Grenadines (SVG) says Min...
    News
    Minister of Information Technology  emphasises the importance of Cybersecurity
    News
    Minister of Information Technology emphasises the importance of Cybersecurity
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Robust cybersecurity must be at the heart of the digital transformation that is currently taking place in St Vincent and the Grenadines (SVG) says Min...
    Entities team up to boost disaster communication capacity
    News
    Entities team up to boost disaster communication capacity
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    The Climate Change Resilience Network (CCRN) in collaboration with the Youlou Radio Movement (YRM) recently embarked on a disaster preparedness initia...
    Ministry of Health to get more dialysis machines
    News
    Ministry of Health to get more dialysis machines
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    The Ministry of Health, Wellness and the Environment, is to obtain three more Heamodialysis machines as part of the revolution in the healthcare secto...
    PM Gonsalves heads delegation to Ethiopia
    News
    PM Gonsalves heads delegation to Ethiopia
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    Prime Minister, Dr Ralph Gonsalves, is leading a delegation to the East African country of Ethiopia; the delegation left the state on Wednesday, Septe...
    New Port to be opened on October 24- PM Gonsalves
    News
    New Port to be opened on October 24- PM Gonsalves
    Webmaster 
    September 5, 2025
    The modern port in Kingstown is expected to be handed over to the government just before this country celebrates its 46th anniversary of political ind...

    E-EDITION
    ePaper
    google_play
    app_store
    Subscribe Now
    • Interactive Media Ltd. • P.O. Box 152 • Kingstown • St. Vincent and the Grenadines • Phone: 784-456-1558 © Copyright Interactive Media Ltd.. All rights reserved.
    We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.Ok