All Fools Day is Real

It’s April 1st, “All-Fools Day.” Ah remember as kids how we looked forward to dis day to pull pranks on each other. And dat day when “Small Man” de class-clown raised his hands, drawing de teacher’s attend-shun to ah drop of blood on his pants, but when our teacher checked his pants, no such thing,

“Small Man” shouted “Arl Fools Day saw!” De whole class-room was silent, yuh could ah hear ah pin drop, interrupted only when teacher dropped Small Man ah punishment; he spent de rest ah de morning standing on de chair.
And dey was my ever-faith-full Buddy de late Andrew Cummings, ah prank-star extraordinaire who uses to torcher ah number of us, including his dear ole Aunty Cams who lived all de way in Shatto, wid his “ All Fools Day Breaking News” story. But she was always up “bright’n’early” at 5:00 a.m. every “All Fools Day” waiting on his phone call. One ring on her phone and she would immediately answer like dis: “ Yes, tell me now, I’m waiting to hear who passed away last night!”

Ah must add-myth dat he caught me oversleeping one All Fools Day. It was 4:30 a.m. when de phone rang earlier, ah didn’t recognize de strange, disguised voice wid ah strong English accent dat said: “ Mr Alex-zon-dah good morning, sorry to awake you so early out of bed, but sadly I was asked to let you know, that the Coast Guard Base was completely destroyed by fire earlier this morning, bye Mr Alexander!”

End of prank! Rest Peacefully Andrew.

Funny or Folly, Nobody seems to know foh real “from whence dis All Fools Day ting originated.” On dat day, some people use de numbers in April 1st to play LOTTO (3D and Scratchy). On ah more interesting note, Lie-Za reminds me dat de ULP was sworn into office on All Fools Day back in 2001, and is like from Day No 1 we encountered ah series of All Fools Day Go-venom-mint promises far-footed.

First was when Arm-in Eustace said de country could not afford to pay Public Servants ah 30% salary increase; de ULP dat was in Awe-position promised dey will pay dem?? Dat turned out to be an All Fool’s Day Go-venom-mint promise farfooted! Next, ULP Go-venom-mint promised Public Servant who chose to retire to run foh Pull-It-Tek-Ill office, and lose will be re-employed, people like Elvis Daniel, Bash Thomas and
Johnson, dat turned out to be All Fools Day promise dat was far-footed! In 2015 an All Fools Day promise to restore 4000 acres ah banana lands, up until now dat is far-footed!

In de meantime at home de price of ripe banana dat was 4 foh ah dollar, is now ah dollar foh one.

Yes we have no bananas!

Ah was teaching Li-Za how to predict results substituting figures for dates as applied in Numerology. Given de numbers in All Fools Day: using de 1st day in de 4th month in de year 2025, yuh have 1+4+2+0+2+5 = 14 so one party could win 14 seats in de next elect-shun.

But de number 14 gives 1+4=5 which suggests one party could win 5 seats which leaves 10 seats to de winner. Lie-Za says one party already has 5-in-ah-row, let dem tek dat and Go! And wid dat is gone ah gone again

One Love Bassy

• Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.