Ah Gift From Papa Babalawo

Dis is In-De-Pen-Dance month and I am reminded of dis Ah-free-can Tale about ah Mulatto (yellow ‘n’ black) Chief dat owned ah lickle island about seven thousands miles off de coast of West Ah-freak-ah! T’was ah precious piece ah real estate, fertile to de crust, traversing from the coast way fish abounded, over several acres ah flat lands and crystal clear streams, den up to de burning mountain way de gods dwell. Way molten rocks produce large deposits of minerals from ‘Die-man to Gold, to Iron, Gas, Sulphur and Ash’. De soil on dis part ah “de Garden of Eden” remains fertile and faith-full. Bread is still ah fruit dat bears on trees. Products like Cadbury, Milo and Nescafe are second and third extracts from beans borne on trees; Oil and soap still come from large nuts wid water and jelly borne on Palm Trees. Sugar, Rum and Medicine are buy-products of Cane! Starch, Farine, cereal are extracts from de roots of Plants. Weekly, de Steam Ships (used to ) spend ah whole day loading thousands ah tons ah bananas delivered ripe and ready foh Mas-sir table in Europe. Explorers, who wasted millions drilling foh G-O Terminal N-ah-G were literally chased from de site by de Volcano! And one murder ah year was unheard of.

But dah was only ah peep at yesterday. De Ole Chief real-lies he getting ole-dah, and dis rich leg-ah-see had to continue. He listened to ah copy of de veteran Kaisonian Gypsy’s song ” de Lickle Black Boy.” Eager to move ahead, “Ah Lickle White Boy” sees de opportunity and went off to study at de “University of Shun. Lie-Za say dat’s way dey talk bout “ ah New Civil-Lies- say-Shun,” whose mis-shun is to “wash, rinse and dry ones brain in prep- ah- rare-shun foh ah New Dis-Pen-Say-Shun or New Vis-Shun, beginning wid Education dat is now “de Eddy-care-Shun Rev-all-yuh-Shun” way “pass or fail” no child is left behind, ultimately giving way to an evo-luh-shun of square pegs fitting into round holes in de add-mini-stray-shun!

But Alas! When all ah dis was explained to de Ole Chief, he said dis is simple con-fuse-shun, and he sought help from an “African Babalawo” ah Wise Man. Papa Babalawo sent him ah Grad-Yuh-Hear-Shun Gift fo “de lickle White Boy,” Ah large wall plaque. On one side was ah ole photograph of “de lickle White Boy” . He looked more handsome dan Grit-hell; and on de other side ah de plaque, was ah plain mirror. Engraved on both sides ah de plaque was ah daily reading wid few words: “ Behold! Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow!” .
On de 27th of dis month we will celebrate 45 years of In-de-pen-dance. Five under ole Labour Party; 16 under NDP and de last 24 under ULP. Maybe we should ask Papa Babalawo to give dis Go-venom-mint ah Plaque wid de mirror on one side and on de other side ah photograph of our Prime Minister 45 years ago.

Welcome to SVG Bishop Curry

If ah had to go back to school History would be my first choice. Vaguely recall ah piece ah come-mess, wid ah King who had several marriages, wanted to marry every pretty woman he saw. He had two queens, Anne and Catherine at de same time. He wanted de Arch-Bishop More to nullify one foh de other.

“No way!” said More! Henry got rid of More! fired or murdered?? More. So in 2018 when de Royal couple, Prince Harry and Meghan, say dey wanted an Anglican Priest to marry dem, ah say Father Forgive Dem! But mek it better dey asked foh Bishop Michael Curry, an America Bishop. Dat’s not all de Ice-in de cake, when ah overs dat Bishop Curry was ah Black man, ah say dat’s my boy oops! my Bishop. So Sunday, as ah mark of respect and ah–pre-she-here-shun, bright and early 9:00 a.m, ah will be attending service at St Georges Cathedral. Guess Why? Yes! Bishop Curry is here and will preach. If ah not mistaken ah think de daughter of Fr Ulric Jones and his dear wife Marilyn, is a member of Archbishop Curry’s Staff. Congrats darling. Let your dad eat his heart out. And Welcome to SVG Bishop Curry. If by chance yuh brought any of your namesake, Curry Powder of course , leave ah pack foh me wid Mrs Jones and not her husband. And wid dat, is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

• Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.