Ah want me awe-ward too

Ah Big-in-up Searchlight Editor and Staff foh gaining regional recognition at de “Jennifer Jones B’dos/OECS Me-dey-Yah Hell’t Awe-wards Ceremony held in Grenada last weekend. Ah overs dat Searchlight was de only OECS Newspaper to receive an Awe-ward. Dis is good news foh de Paper especially since dis had nothing to do wid ULP or NDP. De criterion is about stories on Hell’t related matters, and dey were over 80 submissions from de Print and Electronic media houses from across de region.{{more}} Articles on all aspects ah Hell’t issues: Drug Abuse, Cancer, High-potential and so on. Ah sorry ah didn’t hear bout dis competition before, because ah got ah lot ah Hell’t issues ah could write about. Ah would start wid de shocking Hell’t ah de E-con-Amy wid its perpetual zero pint zero sumbody growth. How we employment situation is as good as any in de OECS, way parents who ain’t get ah day’s wuk foh de whole year, got dey first ten days wuk foh de year, de “school books money” in time foh de opening ah school on Monday gone. No more wuk till In-dip-and-dance, den again at Christmas. What ah country!

And what bout de Hell’t at, of all places, de Health Ministry. Mr P.S. ah know yuh trying yuh best and yuh does get upset when ah target yuh ministry. Ah not blaming yuh because SVG is No 3 in de Caribbean and No 21 in de world of Owe-Beast (adult) population, lef to yuh alone who does jog up to Fort S’harlot and back every afternoon, more ah SVG would be slim/trim, starting wid Ralph and Arm-In. But unknown to yuh, is nuff ting dat suppose to happen dat does never happen in yuh ministry. Wah bout de man wid store-much pains, dey tell him is Acid Reflux and send him home (to drink Apple Cider Vinegar), is like when he reach home, de pain was waiting foh he, dis time it gathered compound interest, so straight back to Hospital foh ah proper exam, den dey discover de man had ah heart attack. Can yuh say if de Cat’s Can function yet ? Dat Lie-Za say she go to open ah Theatre door and it almost drop on her. Ah hinge is only $30.00.

All of ah sudden Housing (HLDC) heading foh de Horse-pit-all. But first ah giving ah Post-yuh-must Awe-ward to de late Maurice Slater (and staff) at de HLDC, foh de masterly job done in de Low Income now renamed Affordable Income Housing project. Under Maurice, it was doing great, now dey are about to mash it up wid Maurice’s replacement, Ex-senator Elvis Charles ah Qualified Teacher. Can yuh beat dat, ah Teacher going to do ah Engineer/Architect’s job. And is not dat Fidel Rose, de young Engineer at HLDC can’t run de place, but Rose go be like he father, he nah go play dey Pull-it-tek-all Games.

And ley me say it like Dr Stan Horne. What de Hell’t is going on in Agriculture starting wid Bananas, now sitting moan-fully at de Intensive Care Unit (ICU). Regardless to what de Guv-ah-mint saying bout de progress made in de controlling de Black Sick-ah-took-her disease, seems like dey fooling we! Export figures suggest dat foh de first 32 weeks of shipment dis year SVG shipped 180 tons, half de amount we shipped foh de corresponding period last year. SVG uses to ship 120 thousand tons ah year. Dominica shipped 900+ tons and St Lucia 6,600 + tons foh de first 32 weeks in dis year. Both countries show an increase over last year’s figures. Ah forget Vinlec, hope dey ain’t feel left out, but dey will tek ah whole article wid dey three million dollar Solar Project dat will save consumers $1.00 ah month. Dah’s ah case ah “Operation successful, patient dead!” Man is like de whole Country got Hell’t Problems.

MY BANANA IS STILL IT

Is de second time ah watching Tennis, and ah see way ah bite ah ripe Banana helped to decide de winner ah de fifth and final Set. De first time was Roger Federer vs James Blake in ah Semi-Final; Blake had ah sip ah Lucozade but Federer had ah piece ah Banana wid ah glass ah water (Mountain Top maybe), den Federer went on court and breeze thru de final Set. De other night ah was watching de 2013 US Open Tennis, Roger Federer vs Tommy Robredo. De score was two sets ah piece, and de players were freshening up during de break before de 5 th Set. Millions watching de match on TV, saw Robredo tek ah bite of ah ripe Banana wid ah sip ah juice, Lucozade maybe.

Ah was looking foh Federer to follow his Banana menu, but he didn’t, he had water only. Needless to say dat Robredo went on court and caused an upset, took de final Set to move onto de next round. We couldn’t ask foh better promotion foh our Bananas, except dat Vincy Banana is on its way out.

Now de next time dey giving out Awe-wards foh Hell’t Related Issues, ah writing me stories and den ah walking way wid me bossom full ah Trophies. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy.

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.