De uni-form men-tell-at-tea

Did Hawkins Nanton eat somebody white fowl, why dey have his good name knocking bout like if is he who did buy cheap Shy-knees fan dat catch fire in de Come-flex; is not Hawkins either who teef Income Tax and Post Office money; and is not he teef OAS money at de Ministry ah Agriculture. Hawkins, de grandson of ah poor, Calder Ridge peasant, is ah humble and decent young man.{{more}}

From Searchlight, he left us wid a remarkable record foh his loyalty, commitment to hard-work and honest journal-is-him.

From morning, Hawkins showed dat he wanted to be ah Top Cop oops, Top Notch in Journal-is-him, and was not daunted by de sacrifice required when yuh going ‘burn de mid-light oil’ while others dey ah sleep, and beat de books to reach de Stars.

Just let me hasten to say dat Hawkins already has two Degrees and ah Diploma under his “cork-hat.” He specialized and excelled in Print and Online Journal-is-him, Media Communication, Public Relations and Marketing, and is therefore well equipped to deliver what is required and expected of him at de Police Public Relations Department.

But dey seem to be ah serious problem wid his appointment dat got nutten to do wid Hawkins himself. It all started two years ago wid de appointment ah de first civilian Cop, Kamecia Blake-Byam wid ah BSc Honours In Psychology and ah MSc in Forensic Psychology. Hell broke loose when she was made Assistant Superintendant ah Police (ASP).

Lie-Za kept telling me ah must try and meet dat lady and ah go see Class at de highest. Ah heard her at St Mary’s Primary School Graduation last year, she has Class indeed, when she was finished she got ah standing up-Laws.

Only recently she went wid four other Vincy Guv-ah-mint officials, to de 2011 Regional Security System Staff and Command Course, 19 Officers from 7 Carry-Beyond countries attended: Administrators, Superintendants and Officers wid years ah Police, Customs and M.E. Grey-shun under dey belt; ASP Blake-Byam topped de Class wid 85 percent and was de Valedictorian, all Dah’s Great, but ah still say we have ah problem wid de placement ah Officers in de Force.

Seems like Commissioner Me-Law got ah vision foh de Force. He wants to raise de Bar (racks) by having top class academics placed in de various branches ah de Force.

Ah fan-to-stick I-dare, but we can’t overlook de first principle. Police is ah noble profession, notwithstanding some “Scamps in de Ranks.” Dey’s no short cut to de top, except of course, dem who prefer to carry news and lick boots, or born in de Pry-minister’s constituency, or is ah fare-foh-hit in de (ULP) Party.

Normally it tek years to climb dat Con-stab-law- aray ladder, man tek nuff beats in de mid-day sun and grave-yard shifts, nuff tumbling in gang terry-terry escaping bull-hits; digging up sewer pits looking foh evidence.

Lie-Za wid she out-ah-place self say Tap-in phone lines and obtaining tips to tipping-off ??? She’s funny, she say if yuh give Insp. Hawkins and ASP Blake-Byam ah rifle and put dem pon ah parade and say: “Company Present Arms!” dey will stretch out dey two arms give yuh; or if yuh tell dem “Attention!” dey might respond and say “We Listening!” And like how my buddy Hawkins left-handed, is trouble when dey say “by de left, quick march, right wheel!”

Hawkins will ask “which wheel, front or back”. But dat is Lie-Za, and dat is all part ah police-in too.

However Lie-Za jell-us dem bad too. Her problem is she knock-kneed so bad till de knees touching. Is years she trying to join de Force, she got recruited once, but when dey tell she “Attention!” Big problem too, she could never unlock dem knees to get her two inner ankles to touch.

But Like her or not, Lie-Za comes up big at times like these. She say Me-Law must have his dreams fulfilled, dey’s de need foh ah “high power unit” comprised ah professionals, police and civilians alike, wid de required qualification in de particular discipline.

Cut out ranks and uni-form, dey’s ah Uni-form men-tell-at-tea, men wuk foh promotion to wear dat Car-key Uni-form to show off; but in dis “high power unit” what matters is wreck-ah-nay-shun ah qua-lift-fee-care-shun and Pay.

Keep de salute, is high officials, gee dem dat, if some ah de most un-wordy and crooked polly-trick-hans could get salute, den we must give respect to de folks who wuk hard like hell foh dey position (some ah dem).

And wid dat, is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy.

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.