Putting in gold in golden years

Some fear-most person did write and say you can judge ah country by de way it treats its older citizens. And to be honest, when yuh see how our Golden Age Citizens are thrown aside in ah corner, it frightens yuh eh, especially when yuh start thinking ah what will happen to yuh when yuh time come round. Gone are de days when Grandma and Grandpa were treasured specimens, dey was always ah older daughter or Grand-daughter on whose shoulders de responsibility of caring foh de senior family members fell.{{more}} Growing up in ah Village it was like normal to have at least one senior family member in ah home, in some cases yuh had at least one grand and sometimes great-grand-parents living wid dey off-springs, enjoying de fruits ah dey labour.

Yes dey would have served dey usefulness, toiling on de job, ploughing de garden or mountain lands making sure dat everybody, spouse, children and, sometimes de extended grand-children get de best ah what was available.

Long ago Granny and Grampa got de best ah care, it was an honour foh somebody, whether family or neighbor to come by daily, to help bathe dem or comb dey hair; somebody else would bring ah bit ah de lunch, soup or whatever and so on. Ah recall how my neighbours, Lyn Joyette and Mamma Edwards (Saints in Heaven) uses to visit every day to mek sure my Grandpa was OK. Ah remember too when he died, Mamma Edwards slept wid us foh months until we got over his passing. Dat was not ah pick and chose ting, it was ah part ah de Village Culture. On reflection dat was when de world was full ah Love.

Times have changed, dey’s no longer ah stay at home Mom or daughter to provide Care Givers chores; our woe-men are seeking empowerment, becoming de bread-winner, while we-men slide into Match-yo. Teking care ah de family and de basic home responsibilities alone is consuming which leaves lickle or no time foh caring ah Pappy or ah Mamma. God bless those who endure sacrifice caring dey beloved Seniors.

Foh some of us it is more convenient to put our loved ones in ah Home.

Nothing terribly wrong wid ah senior citizens home, especially if it’s an Institution wid ah good home-like environment. But what is painful is de abandonment, some of us, not all, literally dump dem dey.

Dey was ah time when ah uses to visit de Guv-ah-mint Institution, referred to as de Poor Home, ley me drop ah hint: “Ah would not like to be dumped dey!” Ah keep using de word “Dump” because dat is de problem. Some of us inherit family property in anticipation of providing Loving Care in return, but abort our responsibilities; in some cases not even ah visit. Lie-Za knows of ah relative who held de “Bun Pan Society Book” de death benefit money, had it turned over into dey name, and when de loved one died, no appearance, Guv-ah-mint had to bury de deceased.

Over de years I have created ah lickle Ministry of visiting ah privately owned home foh Seniors. Nothing to shout about, play ah lickle music wid ah drop ah I-scream pon ah Sunday afternoon; de ole folks sing along, some even dance, dey are like children all over again, just seeing someone pass-by is ah joy to dem.

Personally it brings me ah peace dat ah wish to share and encourage. Ah would invite anyone to try it out; just one hour of de 288 hours in ah week.

Ah heard ah de sad passing ah Mike De Freitas. Mikey in his hey day, contributed to de well being ah de underprivileged. He was ah great friend ah de Salvation Army, ah recalled when ah was treasurer how Mikey uses to phone de Major to come and collect de cheque, and it was ah tidy sum. But dat was when he was strong like ah Lion, he would roar foh all to hear him and de Organization he led, appealing foh help foh worthy causes. Before ah move to my mother’s church, Gospel Hall, ah small group of us from de Salvation Army uses to visit him at his adopted home, de Garden of Eden, ah home away from home, ah nice place. But we cents de burning element ah loneliness, de longingness to see friends.

On one ah my visits he had received tickets foh ah cricket match at Arnos Vale; he was bed-ridden and de sender did not even think it was worth de while to pay ah visit and deliver de invitation. Ole people say when yuh get ole and con-dem, if yuh find five faithful friends, yuh blessed. Apart from his immediate family, wid watery eyes, he spoke of Sir James, Arm-in and somebody else, ah can’t remember who. But come de day we bury him, we will tribute-eyes Mikey to de fullest: “

Businessmen will shed tear, Lions will roar, Lambs will bleat, and why not, he was ah good man and earned his respect; except of course, de same Mikey who would ah spear-headed ah great deal ah projects and fund-raisers to bring comfort and joy to de less fortunate, spent many ah day, brushed aside longing foh someone to bring him ah moment ah comfort and joy too.

Now before anybody start getting upset, ah not throwing stones, I ain-no-saint, ah guilty like hell of being overly engrossed in my personal sell-fish life. But it don’t have to be so; we all need to reflect, be more self-less, consider de less fortunate, in particular we Golden Age Citizens, and we doh ha to go too far looking foh someone to be nice to, dey’s ah ole aunt or uncle in every family, remember “Charity begins at Home!”

And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.